“Through greater effort and hard work a precious dream comes true.”
- Chinese fortune cookie
I was reading about research interviews recently conducted with couples who had been married many decades. Karl Pillemer, a Cornell University gerontologist, and author of 30 Lessons for Loving, noted “Everybody – 100% - said at one point that the long marriage was the best thing in their lives. But all of them also either said that marriage is hard, or that it’s really, really hard.”
This sure aligns with my own experience, as well as the broader array of marriage research. We are taught to believe that great feelings and a happy marriage should be ‘easy’ and just come. That aligns with many courtship experiences and sells magazines, but doesn’t align with reality. The reality is that long-term, about 3% of couples end up staying in that romantic fairyland that we think is the ‘norm’ we somehow have missed.
Nope. A good marriage is really hard work! Are your expectations based in reality?
Melissa's 8-week couples seminar starts October 10th - register here!
Upcoming Events include DC 10/21 workshop on anger and ADHD - get personal help; London 9/24 workshop on anger and ADHD
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free:
- Online treatment overview;
- Downloadable chapters of my books;
- A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
- A large number of blog posts on various topics;
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Starts October 10th.