-
by: c ur self -
Many who have fast minds do not give in to them in many ways...Also remember, ADD/ADHD is a sliding scale...(mild, moderate, high or clinical) We are formed by our environments and convictions from small children to adulthood...Nothing creates responsibility in a person like pressure...Pressure from strict parents, pressure to honor God, pressure we place on ourselves; Survival fear; (if I don't do it no one will)...An ADHD minded Individual who has matured under pressure, can be some of the most...>>> on Forum topic - Is the ADHD spouse ever the "chore master"?
-
by: Help Please -
Any opinions are appreciated>>> on Forum topic - Why do things get the worst when I need support the most?
-
by: NorthCountryBoy -
I thought I'd offer some of my own perspective as an ADHD spouse who is also struggling with an extended lack of sexual intimacy between myself and my partner. 1. "I have lost almost all respect for my partner, and am just fed up." If you felt like your partner was taking concrete action(s) to improve in the areas that would foster respect, would that change how you feel? Or maybe another way of asking the question would be: what would cause you to respect your partner, and can they...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: Swedish coast -
Respect and trust for me are close friends holding hands… I respect a person for their values, integrity and stamina. I trust them for the exact same reasons. Executive functioning affects things like work ethic, sense of logic, verbal skills, judgment, ability to decide, prioritize, make boundaries. All vital in the shaping of life. I could never accept my kind and loving ADD ex partner’s executive weakness. I grew to hate it, even though I tried to accept it, and for so many...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: J -
And if you've lost all respect, you owe it to that person to move on for they're sake. You cannot function or operate in any mode of cooperation, if you can't be the person, you yourself would want to be around. Contempt, disregard, resentment and disdain are what you yourself would be putting out there if you'v lost all respect. You're not being a person you'd want to be with and the other person can tell. They can feel it from you, even if you don't say a thing. If your taking full responsibility...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: CAinUKwithADHDP... -
I do Trust him. It's the respect I struggle with... the replies have caused me to consider - I don't respect him professionally, or financially. However, he is kind and caring, and is willing to talk. Can I respect those qualities without the other? Is that enough? It does go back to the original love question though - is it there to be rekindled? It's the Parent Child dynamic... I feel like I have a puppy dog constantly wanting attention - he's not distracted in that way...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: Swedish coast -
Blisteringly true.>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: Swedish coast -
In my book, if someone has showed fundamentally untrustworthy, they are not cut out for intimacy with you. Re-igniting sparks is probably fine with somebody whom you still trust and love, but have drifted away from emotionally. But with someone who’s lost all your respect? No.>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: Swedish coast -
No, my ADD ex didn’t take their diagnosis well and the 20 year relationship ended 18 months later. In our case I think it boiled down to shame. They felt ashamed for years for letting me down in different ways. When they found out they were neurodivergent and entitled to support, they were instead disappointed they didn’t get enough support from me. Well they’d already depleted anything there was. I was beyond exhausted. They were probably sick of feeling guilty. They didn’t work to...>>> on Forum topic - Why have I gone from her hero to her villain?
-
by: J -
"I don’t need to see more; I need to live what I already see.” This is a revelation that I just had. And to your point, I understand exactly what you mean. But, I feel a bit different now than I have in the past. You're feeling are real now, as they were in the past. That part is no illusion, and you were not duped of lead to believe something that wasn't real. The difference is, you know now, what you didn't know. And you couldn't have known unless you had this experience. This is a...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: honestly -
He too always wanted intimacy, but never did anything to foster emotional connection, in fact did plenty to erode it. Neither would he initiate intimacy in any meaningful way- I was supposed to respond to his repeated rubbing of my arm. That’s all that he would do- signal what he wanted by rubbing my arm - I was supposed to take everything from there. Nope. Not going back.>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: honestly -
I think the ‘original love’ in my case was largely illusory - a result of his temporary hyperfocus on me as the new partner, and my assumption that this is what he was actually like - kind, attentive, generous. But the hyperfocus drifted away to his work, and then all I got was the distracted self: lazy, selfish, rude, unhygienic, prickly and bad tempered, thoughtless and inconsiderate. The repeated disappointment and hurt, and the corrosive effects of his actions demonstrated, day after day, that he...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: sickandtired -
Thank you so much for debunking the ridiculous claims about Tylenol, using peer reviewed scientific evidence instead of unproven conspiracy theories.>>> on Blog post - Tylenol, Autism, oh my!
-
by: J -
From my experience only, yes, there's many things you can do...the only thing you can"t do is control another person. Doing things for that reason only simply doesn't work.>>> on Forum topic - Why have I gone from her hero to her villain?
-
by: J -
Don't assume that what a person does is intentional or even that they'reaware of what they're doing. Or maybe better, has the capacity in their ability to do what you do. full stop:>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
-
by: ADHDat59 -
Thanks for the response, it's nice to have someone validate my theory.>>> on Forum topic - Is the ADHD spouse ever the "chore master"?
-
by: Swedish coast -
It seems to me gender roles can override most personal preferences and abilities in our lives. Gender roles are deeply ingrained in most cultures. And indeed many people I think are not aware of their thought patterns regarding this. An abusive parent, that’s a force to be reckoned with too. One does what one has to do. Like you, I’ve lived my life with no particular planning or organizational interest or skills, but have been forced by people around me to be the organizer. It’s not...>>> on Forum topic - Is the ADHD spouse ever the "chore master"?
-
by: expectamiracle -
I need a support group and feel desperate as I am currently separated from my ADHD spouse of almost 25 years and he is not interested or willing to seek help with or without me>>> on Blog post - ADHD and Long Work Hours! What's Going On?
-
by: exhaustedfor40years -
This is long.. I have been nearly exactly where you're at for forty years. Raised five children with this man that I didn't know had adh d and slight autism, until 10 years ago.He simply doesn't want to learn about himself, or not enough to matter at all. He has made statements like, "I read that article, it was good" he literally has nothing else.. Thats it! After all, the learning all the.Research all the " helping him". It's finally sunk in he's not going to do anything regarding our...>>> on Forum topic - Yank myself out of the numbness
-
by: J -
Away from what truly was unhealthy for you. You sound happy and relaxed. It also sounds like you have control of your life again which has to feel good !>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
Learn to thrive in your relationship
Upcoming seminars & support groups
Knowledge is the first step to a thriving ADHD relationship. Join our upcoming live couples' seminar to learn what you need to know.
Next one starts on Jan 14, 2026. Sign up Now!
Need a little support? Join one of our small groups non-ADHD partner support groups, led by experts. Group starts Jan 2026. RSVP Now!
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
Register for free marriage tips here!
"Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."
Free Treatment E-Book
