"Reward Focused Brain" Doesn't Accurately Describe the ADHD Experience

This very helpful perspective comes from a person with ADHD who wrote in to question my (and others’) use of the term ‘reward focused’ brain. I agree with them – it does not do justice to the ADHD partner experience.  Please read on:

“I have a question/concern regarding some of the common language used -- not just by you! -- to describe ADHD and the differences between us.  

I'm the partner with ADHD, and I think that this language issue, in an attempt to translate our experience for NT's, inadvertently reinforces some of the most painful misunderstandings and dynamics we experience.  It's the idea of a "reward focused" brain.  

I understand that the term "reward" might have a specific meaning clinically, where maybe it refers to anything motivating and doesn't distinguish between a need and a desire, but colloquially it's misleading.  Rewards are understood as treats, or extra benefits; and their most common use in a family setting is in teaching a little kid or a pet what is expected of them.  It not only conjures an imbalanced power dynamic, it's also a tool used judiciously and temporarily.  

I think some NT's fall into the trap of thinking that once a person is diagnosed with ADHD and understands what that is, they should be able to act as if they don't have it.  I.e., they will go through the period of extra training and get all the rewards needed for the training to sink in. Perhaps they think of motivation as something extra, because they only need to think about it when they are gearing up for something extra difficult and maybe even optional; they don't see the baseline supply of it that their brain produces all day long.  

The brain chemicals affected by ADHD are crucial for functioning, as I know you know.  We can build all sorts of scaffoldings, consciously or not, to help us navigate how inconsistent they are for us, but there's no getting around just how concrete they are.  Finding ways to boost these brain chemicals does not result in the experience of getting a reward, it results in the experience of simply being able to function.  There's that one study, I'm sure you've heard of it, where they deprived some poor rats of all their dopamine.  The rats starved to death because they could not access any motivation or functional ability to eat.  Having the ability to not starve to death is not a reward, at least not according to everyday usage of the term.  So, the experience of having ADHD is not that I'm focused on rewards any more than the experience of being alive requires being constantly focused on air.  

When something spikes or levels out our brain chemicals, rather than reward, we experience a clearing of extra obstacles.  Being interested in something is like finally not being in pain. This is why the phrase (I think from Hallowell or Dodson?) "interest-based nervous system" seems so much more accurate and less susceptible to misinterpretation or baggage than "reward-focused." Our entire nervous system runs on interest; it isn't an object of focus; it's an agent of focus.  It really seems like the language of reward comes entirely from the observations/analysis of people without ADHD, and sort of gives up on trying to find language that would bridge the gap in real understanding.  

There's this troubling shorthand about ADHD that equates needing to boost these brain chemicals as needing a "fix" or having a brain that needs to be fixed…  Obviously, it's up to us to find ways to work with our brains and try to manage this chemical situation as best we can and with as little adverse impact on others as possible.  But glasses are not a fix or a reward for someone with myopia, and the natural leveling of brain chemicals from interest, urgency, or positivity is truly not a reward.  I'm worried that this framing enhances parent-child dynamic traps (especially since on some level, clinically, everyone is motivated by reward, but we apply different language to different timelines -- retiring with healthy savings that are the result of careful planning is a reward, too, but nobody calls frugality a reward-focused way of being). 

Thanks for listening."

From Melissa - well said, and I agree.