Husband has consistently taken personal funds to support business over past 5 years. He now insists these are “loans” even though he has never paid back anything to the household. How to get him to see it is not a loan if there is no payback? He has yet to create any kind of business plan/budget (states it is impossible since he is self employed). Therapist has now chimed in that this would be a good idea for his business, so will see what comes.
Also, everytime I ask a reasonable question about his business, he acts as if I am trying to show how wrong he is, etc. I understand there is a great amount of shame in this scenario, but it is exhausting to have to constantly apologize for upsetting him when he assumes I am on the attack (when I am not!).
After nearly 44 years of marriage I am just exhausted trying to accommodate him.
Comments
RSD
that attack thing; it’s RSD. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I’d ask my ex about his plans, for eg, and he would react as if I’d come at him with a knife.
It’s a hall of mirrors. You’re the cast as the monster while he’s the one actually being mean.
Oh but you can actually have RSD and be perfectly nice. My therapist told me. It’s just a case of recognising it for what it is and then not inflicting it on your loved ones. It’s a choice.
You have my sympathy. I hope he can learn to make better choices.