Recent forum posts (all topics)

Progress, Hope and Validation

Since, I am officially calling our marriage over even if not by decree......I have since had a couple of "gifts" thrown at me and I'm taking them and running with them and using them for the future.  I am convinced in my situation, that Narcissism on some level was a real factor regardless of anything else going on.  I'm stating that and making that distinction since I have come out of this with a new found revelation which I have discovered recently and I am what this is saying.  On the positive side for all concerned I guess I'm what you call an empath?  Okay, go figure but I fit this def

He put the shoes in the shoebox

I have ADHD and he has ADHD. Difference is I knew and was able to be trained about it from childhood. While I definitely still have it, I also have the tools to compensate for the most part. 

So when I got home the other day and saw that shoes were placed in the shoebox. I was so happy.

It's a little thing. But when he does things without asking. Especially things he doesn't really want to do. It feels like a win. 

 

Seems like no matter what I do I'm in this alone...

I have now tried for months to get my husband (who has known about his ADHD since childhood) to understand we need outside help and our marriage is in danger. I've brought up counseling which he refuses to do because according to him I should be able to talk to him, not some stranger about MY issues. So I tried reading Melissa's book and told him it would be a good idea to read this after I'm done. He's now had it in his possession for 3 weeks and has done nothing but use it as a paper weight.

So what do I DO when he blows?

Hi all.  I'm just feeling so frustrated.  I'm aware of all the symptoms.  I know my spouse has ADHD.  I know his anger is a problem in our marriage and has slowly chipped away at our relationship.  He was just diagnosed in the Spring and he's trying meds but they do NOTHING for his frustration tolerance.  We go for days/weeks with no incident.  And then WHAMMO, I (usually the trigger) say something that sets him off.  And there isn't just anger.  There's sarcastic anger, which is all the more insidious.

Easily Irritated and Misunderstandings

I am so discouraged. I try very hard to be supportive and understanding and adapt my life so that things will go well with my ADD spouse. Although I have 20 years of marriage with which to draw thousands of examples, I don't think I need to here. Many people will have lived with what I live with and will not need the anecdotes.

Is he cheating?

I have been with my current bf for 8 months now, long distance (2 hours away). He was diagnosed with ADHD with some OCD symptoms.  I honestly can accept his certain traits of ADHD, because I grew up with a ADHD brother.  I saw the worst, my brother couldn’t sit quietly in the class and was violent towards his classmate when he was angry.     

Prospective ADHD marriage

I am not married... yet.. but I know my bf who has ADHD plans to ask me to marry him in the coming week and I love him without a doubt and known him for over 5 years, but I am worried about being able to continue handling his ADHD when it has already caused issues, it started out so wonderful he was as i've seen it referred to as "hyperfocused" on me, but now that I have been living with him it is like the newness wore off and I find it harder and harder to get his attention from his computer and phone onto me.

It's 108 Degrees Outside!!! LOL

Yes, it's true.  You don't think it gets that hot in Oregon....think again!! LOL  I use to lifeguard in college and I remember these days.  Of course, I could just jump in the water to cool off and get back out again so it wasn't that big a deal with a pool at your disposal? LOL  I remember a day just like this when it hit 106 degrees.  I'm so glad I installed central air in this old house!!  I'm perfectly fine ....I'll be working the late shift tonight when it cools off.

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