Recent forum posts (all topics)

What preparations are you making for aging?

I'm glad to see an article on this subject.

https://www.additudemag.com/inside-the-aging-adhd-brain/

Nearly everyone, as they age, declines cognitively and/or physically.    What kind of decline it is matters to how it can be treated, or how one can adapt one's life to compensate the loss of mental or physical capacity.

Help with ADD Partner

My fiance and I have known each other for 20 years and been dating for 3. He has always been a quiet guy. 

He has told me that he has trouble focusing. He does alot of little projects to help with that.. model tanks, Star Wars stuff, converting VHS to DVD.  

Its always something.  He has said many times... I think I have ADD. 

Its like something is wrong and he can't see to put his finger on it.

Based on what I read up on... I think there is some truth to it.

(N)ever satisfied?

Hi,

Today, another thing has occurred to me, another mechanism that I think weighs heavily on my life and my ADHD spouse's.

I've been thinking a lot how it's possible that she feels so dissatisfied with her/our life so often, when in fact so many good things happen in it. And I think I started to notice a pattern that might be quite revealing.

Weird Lying - What is it?

Something happened this weekend that made me realize that I've seen a pattern.  A very, very odd and unhealthy pattern.  My husband lies and hides.  All the time and about stupid stuff that shouldn't matter as well as big stuff that does matter.  I've known this for a long time.  When he went to therapy briefly, the only piece of information he gave me was that he determined that he lied all the time to everyone.

Non-verbal cues

Here's another thing that's been bothering me.

Living in the same space is difficult for many reasons. But being in the same room at the same time, that's the real difficulty. On a very basic level.

So, for instance, if I need to go through a door, and my ADHD angel is standing there, when I approach her, I need to say: "Please, move aside, because I need to go through this door." Otherwise, it's like she doesn't see me.

And when I say this, she reacts like she's being scolded.

Around important dates

Do you feel like your ADHD partner often has the urge to provoke conflicts around that time? I mean Christmas, birthdays, etc.? Because mine certainly does. I've noticed, over the years, we spend those jolly days not even knowing if we're still a couple. It seems like there's excessive need of stimulation that results in uncontrolled anger in my ADHD spouse.

I thought maybe I don't need to explain this further. If this happens you you, you'll know what I mean.

Please, share your thoughts.

 

Advice on not getting hurt when my boyfriend shuts down

Hi..I am new here.

I have a great deal of experience with adhd. Most of my family has it (mother, brother, aunt, cousins, grandmother), and my daughter also has it. I have, however, never been in a relationship with someone who has it.

I have known my boyfriend since childhood (we're both 33). Allthough our romantic an intimate relationship is new. There has also been a significant amount of years with no contact (both have had long-term relationships, we have kids etc).

Living together but separately

Ok, this will be a rant. But also a brief summary of facts. Please bear with me.

Me and my ADHD spouse have been living separately. We're not married. She blames many of the issues we're facing on this. She says it's complicating her daily routine.

However, we never really got through that point when you really feel like you could live with the other person, and you truly want it.

I need to catch my breath from time to time. If that doesn't happen, I'm no use.

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