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Good afternoon all,

I just discovered this website last week while I was sick from stress, and decided today to join.  I could write a dissertation on my challenges, but I will try to sum it up succinctly.  I was so relieved to find other people dealing WITH THE EXACT SAME ISSUES as me.  I really believed that I was going crazy and was failing because I continue to be missing something in my marriage.  However, after reading some other posts, I could have it much worse.  I'm happy to fill in specific details, but here is a brief summary:

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I would like to share a few thoughts concerning communication, and the frustration and anger that arises so often when our attempts to do so or so unfruitful and even damaging. In my study of why things are like they are, why we can't move past all the volatility I realize yet again the answer is with in me. Another painful dark corner of reality I've avoided like the plaque, (my own denial) because of the simple reason it's more truth than I can handle simply because I hate it so much.

We discovered almost 2 years ago my husband had ADD. He was having severe depression and no antidepressants were helping. The facility that he went to had him talked into ECT. Thankfully we got a second opinion and he started in Adderall almost 2 years ago. Shortly before he was properly diagnosed, he was forced to quit his job. Since that time he has been trying to get his own automotive detailing business started. He is not able to be organized or a self started. We have a child and are living off of basically just my income. The financial stress is killing me.

Feelings.  Emotions.  Holidays.  Family.  Consistency, or rather my own expectations and hopes of consistency. 

One sure thing I have realized, in my day to day living, there is consistent inconsistency.   

I am trying to sort out stuff this morning - emotions?  Feelings? Does it really matter which is which?  What happened to spark such internal discord in the pit of my stomach this morning. . . . . . . .

Just a quick post about failure.  I just read this under marriage tips in this forum ...

“Epic failure is part of being human, and it’s definitely part of being married. It’s part of what being alive means, occasionally screwing up in expensive ways. And that’s part of what marriage means, sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would. And then, days or weeks later, waking up and loving him again, loving him still.”
-Ada Calhoun, NY Times

I realize that this is the wrong forum for this topic. I wanted to put it here so more of you would see it. If the moderator needs to delete it or move it, I understand.

i just want to encourage all of you not to give up hope. Please consider seeking out a counselor that utilizes neurofeedback in his/her practice. My son (ADHD/ODD) and husband (ADHD)have been receiving neurofeedback treatments off and on since June. I can honestly say that the dynamics of our family have dramatically improved!!

I have been married for almost 27 years, and my husband has just been officially diagnosed with ADHD.  Though I have been in and out of counseling, both with and without my husband, to try and find some answers and personal peace, I never thought to consider ADHD as something that was affecting my marriage.  My husband has started counseling to help him understand and manage his symptoms.  His focus is primarily on himself and has little to do with our marriage.  Out of curiosity, I started googling articles on ADHD and marriage, and I was shocked to find out that my husband and I have a "t

The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an increase in performance.   A corollary of the Pygmalion effect is the golem effect, in which low expectations lead to a decrease in performance;