When H starts a tantrum or drama-fest, my solution is to grab my purse and leave. If I don't leave, the anger towards me escalates, even though I'm often not the reason for his anger, but I'm "there" so I become the target.
Yesterday, H had a series of annoying things go on:
1) had to drive 300 miles round trip to see his doctor.
Groundhog Day...that is ADHD for me and my H. Once again, the man he works for is jealous of his charisma and popularity and his "boss" feels threatened. This has happened before in ALL types of jobs. I can see him losing his job once again. It's such a pattern that I won't be shocked. I know this time around that I must continue to move forward with the goals I have set in place for myself and draw on my new found strength. I can't be weak or pity myself since he will be doing all of that for himself.
I've made it a goal of mine the past several months to be much more self-aware when it comes to engaging my wife with any kind of expectation. I'm not saying I don't have them, but, I'm making an effort to not attach any negative emotion to them and when I share my feelings, I'm trying to do it in calm tones ONCE:) and only when I have her attention, and only when she is calm and listening....It has been very fruitful for our communications, which has always been very limited at best....
Hubby was diagnosed a year or so ago and pursuing medication but it's not going well. I haven't seen any improvement in him at all since we have learned of his disorder and began seeking treatment and counseling. He is seeing a therapist and so am I. We have been together 22 years. About 10 years ago, I told him that whatever the hell was wrong with him was slowly but surely erooding my love and respect for him. I feel that's where I am at. I feel no romantic love for him at all. I have no respect for him at all. His shortcomings in taking care of things as well as his social anxiet
Wow, I think I just threw my DH out of the apartment. Now, I'm not quite sure what to do.
He probably thinks I threw I threw him out for forgetting to look at the calendar, or forgetting a date that's important to me AGAIN, but that not really the reason.
Here's the thing, there are 8 days a year that are important to me, That I'd love him to remember, That I don't even have to write on the Calendar because they are already ON the calendar !
Recently diagnosed with Adult, moderate ADHD, mixed variety. One of my friends has been going to Al-Anon for 15 years and told me it really helps him. Has anyone else experienced success with being in an Al-Anon group?
We truly have sacraficed a lot for their sanity and rescued them. You must listen to this song on You Tube.
Shooting Star by Harry Chapin
He was crazy of course
From the first she must have known it
But still she went on with him
And she never once had shown it
And she took him off the streets
And she dried his tears of grievin'
She listened to his visions
She believed in his believin'
My husband has ADHD and anxiety and depression. He chose to become his elderly parents' full-time, 24/7 caregiver a few years ago. Bad idea. The depression has gotten worse. I'm concerned about him. He's resistant to getting help. Last night, I looked up mental health clinics in the town where he lives with his parents (150 miles from our home, his old therapist, etc.). This morning, I called him and said that I am strongly encouraging him to get mental health treatment and that I would be mailing him information.
I found this site earlier tonight via Google searches. Searches like "husband is never wrong" "husband won't accept an opposing opinion because he's never wrong" "husband insists everyone is against him", including wife and father in law who would never interfere unless it was a last resort and oh the search list could go on and on.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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