Recent forum posts (all topics)

Okay, so I really don't have time to be on the internet right now (because the world would stop breathing if I forgot to remind it to), and nothing upsets me more than people who spend hours on the internet when they have plenty of grownup things to do (okay, maybe a few things upset me more, but that's up there).  I have never felt such a pull to join an online community before, though, so I'd like to offer a big hello.  I just read ADHD and Marriage last night...

Hello there! 

We've known about the ADHD for several months now.  His biggest attempt in the matter is to "try harder" "do better" and "not treat me this way".  But as a result, we wrap around to the same issues, the same destructive patterns and the same hurt and painful feelings.  How much longer do I hold on?  What options do I have?  We are in the midst of rock bottom once again.  I am raw with hurt and pain from neglect, abandonment, broken promises and being taken for granted moment after moment that I can see leaving as the only alternative.  I do see the pain in his eyes.

I'm taking some time off from the forum to tend to other things for a while.  My wife and I have reached a point where we are now communicating well including )but certainly not limited too) topics involving areas where we run into conflicts.  This is in a large part due to me learning more about denial and other defense mechanisms and how it effects not only communicating with another person but memory itself.  This is NOT exclusive to ADHD by the way...but I think for a person who falls into the category of being so much in denial that these defenses and means for self protection ( of the

I have ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder. I have had to learn so much about these disorders just recently as no one properly educated me nor did I receive counseling for these when entering high school. Only now ten years after high school do I feel fully informed. Thank you to Melissa Orlov books as well as other materials I have studied. Unfortunately, I went off medication because I was doing so well in graduate school, so thought I did not need meds anymore for ADHD.

When H starts a tantrum or drama-fest, my solution is to grab my purse and leave.  If I don't leave, the anger towards me escalates, even though I'm often not the reason for his anger, but I'm "there" so I become the target.

Yesterday, H had a series of annoying things go on:

1)  had to drive 300 miles round trip to see his doctor.

I've made it a goal of mine the past several months to be much more self-aware when it comes to engaging my wife with any kind of expectation. I'm not saying I don't have them, but, I'm making an effort to not attach any negative emotion to them and when I share my feelings, I'm trying to do it in calm tones ONCE:) and only when I have her attention, and only when she is calm and listening....It has been very fruitful for our communications, which has always been very limited at best....

Hubby was diagnosed a year or so ago and pursuing medication but it's not going well.  I haven't seen any improvement in him at all since we have learned of his disorder and began seeking treatment and counseling.  He is seeing a therapist and so am I.  We have been together 22 years.  About 10 years ago, I told him that whatever the hell was wrong with him was slowly but surely erooding my love and respect for him.  I feel that's where I am at.  I feel no romantic love for him at all.  I have no respect for him at all.  His shortcomings in taking care of things as well as his social anxiet

Wow, I think I just threw my DH out of the apartment. Now, I'm not quite sure what to do.

He probably thinks I threw I threw him out for forgetting to look at the calendar, or forgetting a date that's important to me AGAIN, but that not really the reason.

Here's the thing, there are 8 days a year that are important to me, That I'd love him to remember, That I don't even have to write on the Calendar because they are already ON the calendar !