Recent forum posts (all topics)

As the NON ADD partner, I have been thinking a lot about people's maturity, naiveté, having fun vs responsibility...that kind of thing in general.  I had been thinking of myself as a responsible worrier and seeing dh as a child-like imp in our relationship.  But how have I been childlike?

It is time I look at that and help MYSELF GROW UP.  I will list the positive ways a mature person handles things and strive for being more mature MYSELF, in general and in all my relationships.

For the past few months, I have tried a new tactic.  As soon as H would start yelling, I would leave and not come back for a day or two.  

 

For awhile, H would just get angrier and more verbally threatening, this is what is called an Extinction Burst.  When the Non sets a Boundary, the mentally-unhealthy person will "kick it up a notch" hoping that you'll give up your boundary.  I held firm.  

 

Please don't be turned off by the fact that this blog post is written by a woman, has "divorce" in the blog title, and refers to "emotional abuse."  I think it presents very good suggestions for anyone in a difficult relationship, whether man or woman; person with ADHD or not; considering divorce or not.  

http://www.womansdivorce.com/emotionally-abusive-relationships.html

What do they say.....only a fool represent themselves in a court of law?  That's what happened this morning and this is my conclusion.  I'm a fool to engage my wife at all when she opens with....I want to talk.  Bullshit!  You want to debate in legal court with you being the prosecuting attorney and me being the defendant.  "Nice shoot'in soldier but two can play at that game".  (This is an informative vent on how not to talk to your spouse unless you want to piss them off......first objection.....BADGERING THE WITNESS!!

soo finally posting after reading lots and lots of posts :) sleeping out on the couch tonight due to a massive fight I've had with my adhd partner. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been with him for 4 years, engaged and have a 6 month old baby. When we first got together it was a joke that he was always loosing everything but after 4 years it's just not funny. He hasn't been on medication and has got his appt to sort it out in another 4 weeks, mind you I have been asking him to sort it out for the last 2 years.

Hi all, I am looking for responses of ADHD and non-ADHD spouses. W/O a lot of detail let me just say that my husband has a very big tendency to forget things and an even bigger one to lie about it to cover it up. EXCEPT the lies never make sense so it's normally quite apparent to me that he is not being honest. After our usual  weekly blow-up (I know, this can't be healthy, right?) he says that I push him too hard.

 

Anyone else feel the same? I just had a huge fight with the ADHD spouse. He had been drinking and started pressing me about some things I've done recently. These things I've done to protect my self from the harmful things he does to me. I did my best to shrug off and skirt the issue but he wouldn't let it go. So, I tried to explain why I closed my Facebook and why I no longer slow photos of me to be anywhere. He makes me feel so ugly I'm not putting myself out there..and he was off. As norm, he's perfect and I'm crazy. I get so angry b3ing dismissed like that, I blow up.

In my endless quest to accept DH and the way he ACTUALLY is, not the way I WISH him to be, I have been thinking a lot about the stuff that makes me happy and trying to do those things more often.  Plus the fact that he travels Monday through Friday means I have a lot of time to do things on my own.