Recent forum posts (all topics)

Five weeks of hard earned peace...now what?

I left my husband of over 30 years more than five weeks ago, and the peace, calm, and freedom are intoxicating.  I miss the way he used to be long ago, but this separation only reinforces the idea that if we have any chance of making our marriage work there need to be some enormous changes.  I had asked him to seek treatment for ADHD/depression, and he did restart medication.  I take that as a positive, but the depression and inaction  that have kept him stuck and unemployed for the last 5 and a half years are truly scary, and no amount of Adderall will change that.

On the Lighter Side

I just had what I would call a huge success so I thought I would take a few minutes to share it with everyone.

In another topic I recently posted about pointing out successes as a common experience it seems (on both sides) as how this can be interpreted either good or bad depending on perspective and circumstances.....it was suggested I put my particular story under this section under "progress" I've made.

Without going into all the details of the story again....if you are curious you can go and find it (I'm sure) and it will complete this picture.

H appears to have found his happy place....for the time being!

I can officially report that my husband has gone to work every day for a full month...even when I was out of town for a week! I was honestly shocked to see when I got back (I check his clock in/clock out times on his work website but he doesn't know I know how to get on there) that he didn't miss a day and he didn't leave early. There haven't been anymore leaving at 4AM only to go have breakfast somewhere until 7AM and then coming home after I leave. He has been happy.

Emotion Commotion

http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/40/slide-1.html

I read this article in ADDitude Magazine with great interest.  So much insight.  Gives me a very clear view of the internal workings and daily emotional struggle of my spouse.  

So, as I have said in so many ways, so many different times, I have the greatest empathy for his struggle.  Not blaming him for our lives issues, not feeling smug in my own opinions.

Trying to understand.

i came here after a search on the web about how to deal with my partner... I was trying to understand why he likes to put me down all the time, never compliments me for anything right or good I do and twists every single thing I say to put the blame on me, or assumes I'm feeling, thinking, doing things I am not. I was reading some threads and even knowing my partner isn't diagnosed with ADHD I feel a lot of what's shared here describes him in a perfect way.

 

Accepting the non-ADHD partner as he or she is

Hi.  I'm really struggling with this issue, as I do off and on.  I often read about people with ADHD that "this is who they are.  Other people need to accept this."  I accept this statement to a certain point and I realize that to the extent I don't accept it, that's my problem.  But perhaps even more of a struggle for me is the following:  I am who I am.  Can my husband accept that?  Even more important, can I accept it?  Is it OK for me to say, "I'm a very sensitive person.  I don't want to think of myself as a person who is vulnerable.  But I am.

ADHD boyfriend broke up with me 2 days before our 1 year anniversairy

My now ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for nearly a year. We met at college. His personality, his looks and his passion for anime and sailing had made me attracted to him. I thought everything was going well in our relationship - he taught me to eat fruit, like cats and we went to some of his family events i.e. his sister's wedding and christening. I lost my virginity to him on Valentine's Day (a week before my 19th birthday). I guess things started to go wrong when we had our induction days at college.

Newly diagnosed - husband can't cope - feeling very angry

Hi

I'm a 41 year old woman who has just been diagnosed with ADHD. I've got a MA,MSc and a PhD but I'm a train wreck organizationally. I can open the envelopes now but I won't read what's in them; I can do the shopping sometimes, clean sometimes, do the laundry sometimes....I recognize that this is hard for my husband to cope with and drives him nuts.

It's finally OVER

I'm not sure this belongs here, but the end of this is progress of a sort, and gives me hope (hard to come by right now, but I know it will get better). 

Background: I met a man in the spring of 2013. In October he proposed, and I moved into his home. I knew that he had undiagnosed ADHD. All of the signs were there. I talked to him about it a few times, but he wasn't too interested in doing anything about it. I had no idea, at that time, how bad it was... the unpaid bills, billing for his business not done, all of these grandiose plans, impulsive behaviors, and the LIES. 

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