Recent forum posts (all topics)

Don't you want to see the big picture? I think most of my life has been lived with tunnel vision, and poor site to go along with that. I think the largest negative contributors to my inability to see the big picture is my love for myself, my emotions and my lack of knowledge. Have you ever saw a little league coach who  knows very little about the game, and maybe he didn't prepare his team vs. an experienced coach who's team has been practiced? The experienced coach many times is calm, he see's the big picture.

So yes, Iooked at my ADHD husband's email--you would think I would know better--I always find something upsetting.  And sure enough--two emails, one from yesterday and one from two days ago from a woman he met when he was inpatient for a week in the psych ward two years ago telling him he will always be the man she loved most and all she has now is memories of a few wonderful weeks.  How she wishes she had tried harder to make a life with him and HIS BOYS.  WOW.  While I can tell you I couldn't care less what he does with her, she will NEVER get near my sons.

It is too late.

He can perform all the surface changes in the world, but what is beneath is still the person who has done and said so much that's pushed me too far.

Compassion and fear kept me waiting. For years, I bought into the belief that he could not help it. Before I even knew about add and narcissism, I sensed that this is simply how he is.

He can't help it is NOT the same as this is simply how he is. That is the truth with which I am now coming to terms. It hurts. It hurts me for both of us, but he will be fine, continuing to live in the moment.

The train has made an emergency stop, those wishing to stay off exit to station to begin immediately learning healthy tools for change, those wishing to continue on doing same old thing, expecting different result please stay seated.  Please be aware those who are exiting the train, are choosing to still love those who remain seated, and also choose to try a different approach in order to improve their emotional and physical Heath. And that of their family!  

After a long process of learning about and seeing the characteristics of ADHD in our marriage, our family doc has said that he doesn't think my husband has it(he thinks my husband just needs to work less). Initially, it was suggested by my psychologist that he try Dr. Amen's test. The results revealed more than one type of ADHD was present. I stumbled upon this site one day and we downloaded the book. Listening to it is like sheeting our marriage through a looking glass.

Hello - I am new to the forum, and wanted to introduce myself.  I've been in a relationship for nearly two years, and recently moved in with him.  Although, I suspected he may have had ADD (or ADHD - he's not hyperactive), now that I've moved in, I KNOW.  I went to my own counselor yesterday, and she (having a husband that also has ADHD), knew right away, and recommended the book "The ADHD effect on Marriage".  We are not married, but he is a widower, and he has a 10 y/o son, whom I love as my own.  We did not enter into this relationship lightly.

Please tell me how to speak to DH and what words to use where he understands that he is not the only person with feelings?   I feel like I am loosing my mind.  I feel Emotionally abused and my abuser is making himself out to be the victim.  HOW do you respond in a way that ADHD hyper Husband can understand???????  DH demands daily sex, with holds money, shares no details of our finaince, we have had to declare bankrupsy, he gambled,  he has refused to make house payment or car payment, any day now I expect people come foreclose.

I am the ADHD spouse, depression, some PTSD, manipulation and lying issues. I've been kicked out of our house with my son (who's similar to me) and am living in an even more stressful situation right now (my own mother). I feel stressed and dealing with high anxiety about not being with her again. She is simply this, the most amazing, beautiful, and down to earth woman I've ever known. and I've broken my wife's' trust and heart, not an affair physically, but yes one that was emotional. No, I wasn't getting attached emotionally, but affairs don't have to be physical right?

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. It started slow and then we quickly realized we were meant to be and were engaged after 3 months, and married 3 months after that. At the time he was working hard, was super gentlemanly, wanted to step in on my ambitions (I've always been a world traveler- don't expect to stop), and was everything I could have asked for.