Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am a 56-year old widow (7 years) and was engaged to a 55-year-old widower (2 years) who recently told me that he is just too busy to get married on September 27th as planned.  All of the signs of ADD/HD are there - and since he stopped the clock, I have learned much more. 

I just need to vent!  I am so sick of this!!!  We are on vacation and going to have a good time and she just informed me that she only took 2 meds today because she forgot to,take,the other two!!  I read in this sight that we can't remind them to take their meds but then I feel powerless!!  On only two pills she is extremely distracted, can be argumentative, is shut down and can be really hard to get to follow through with plans (we have some tonight) and sex!  Ha forget about it......it sucks so bad I don't even want to do it!!

My wife has been frustrated with me lately and it turns out my psych said the Focalin I'm on is "speed".  Since she grew up with the worst of the worst drugs which both her mother and father abused their entire life, she thinks she's going through it again.  If I don't take my med I told her I'd likely loose my job since I've already been warned at work.  Anybody know the best way to approach this?  It is highly emotional for her, so I reassured her, but she said she'd never be convinced it isn't speed.  

Thanks for any positive contributions you may have!

Ed 

Does anyone else have trouble with an adhd spouse and their hygiene? I have trouble with finding creative ways to say please wash etc and its killing me especially since they smoke. How do I work on asking them to clean themselves?their space?and work on their hoarding? The forgetfulness makes the personal hygiene very bad and it makes messes so much worse.I have trouble being together with them when they haven't showered or shaved etc.

I do the bookkeeping in our family, including the finances for the construction business partnership of my spouse and son.  

What exactly ARE boundaries for my end?  Let's just look at this one specific current situation:

Hi everyone,

I'm very new to this site but I've been reading a lot of your posts & feeling both relieved & overwhelmed at all our common experiences.  For some background, I am 32 years old & have been married for 6 years to my husband who has ADHD.  He is currently going to counseling & should be getting on some medication here in the next couple of weeks.  I am still reading through The ADHD Effect on Marriage & trying to work on my end of things.

I have been complaining about dh for years (mostly silent complaining but it also came too many times out of mouth).  I wanted to have a husband to love and respect and someone to love and care for me and respect our marriage and me.  Here is how I had been.  I was saying in my head:

1. It is not fair.  He gets to have fun and I get to worry about the future.  I want to be happy like him with no cares and the ability to laugh everything off.  With someone else taking care of the necessities and the security. 

I'll start out by saying that I am the ADD spouse. My husband and I met 16 years ago and dated for 6 years before getting married. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years into our marriage. Like anyone else we had our share of problems. Before being diagnosed it had gotten to the point that he was being very aggressive and cruel to me - I had even researched emotional abuse (which he did discover when I accidently left a web page up on my computer.) Some things he accused me of were lying, cheating, having a gambling and/or drug problem.

I know that we each have different situations and we're dealing with variations in personality and severity of add, but I would appreciate any comments you can offer.