Recent forum posts (all topics)

I need some advice. This is the first time I've ever posted, but I have been using this site as a resource for a few months. My husband has been diagnosed with ADHD. I am the one who tries to keep it all together. Six months ago I found out that my husband was pursuing several women via Facebook and one woman at work. I was devastated. After years of being ignored, cleaning up his messes, yada yada yada, he found a way to convince himself that I caused him to look elsewhere. I told him I wanted a divorce. When he realized I was serious, he changed his tune.

I have always figured I have had mild ADHD. While working with a psychiatrist for other issues, he tested me for ADHD and I shockingly scored nearly off the chart. However, my wife who always leaves stuff in disarray, moves from one task to another without fully completing but eventually does, amongst other things, scored mildly. How can this be?!

Looking forward to furer evaluation and treatment plan on Wednesday.  Also enjoying Orlov's book On ADHD/Marriage. 

Hi everyone :) I have been what I thought was happily married since I was 22 (but together since 19) and I have just turned 45. We have 2 beautiful children my son whom is turning 18 in March (and has been diagnosed as a mild to moderate sufferer of adhd) and my gorgeous girl who will be 14 in July. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD about 14 years ago now but he had always led me to believe that his "symptoms" were minor & the need for treatment was non-existent.

The cause of our arguments is no different - disconnects on household chores, getting so "stuck" on irrelevant facts while she is talking about something serious, forgetting nearly everything - except for things that don't matter...I could go on, but I'm sure this is not new for anyone who has or is close to someone with ADHD. Our arguments start the same way - but from my perspective she seems more enraged at my inattentive behaviors and patterns. I'm just confused because I feel like my treatment is working (at least I think so) and I'm not sure why our relationship has not improved.

I do not know how to get over someone being unfaithful.  If i understand from your book, you have went thru this.  Any suggests or ideas?

Hi there,

Just wanted to say hi and to pass on some comments regards the book The ADHD Effect on Marriage. 

I'm about halfway through so far (up to the chapter on empathy). 

I have been with this guy for nearly 2 years now, i have a 9 year old son (not his) and i have now a new little baby to my partner. whilst i wads pregant things were very hard as i was working and he could not hold a  job down. During this time when i was pregant we nearly lost our house, wass selling our furniture to pay the rent as he was really bad with money. he would continually buy and buy things we didnt need, BUT he had to have these, once he bought them he would find something else he would need to buy. Drove me insane.

My husband is a loving, generous, very smart man who was diagnosed as an adult with add. We have been together 14 years and have children. He holds down a fairly flexible job and is good at it, but has difficulty with any deadlines, reports, meetings, and schedules in general and so far has been able to avoid getting in too much trouble over it (I understand that these things are hard for him but I worry about his job security).

I feel completely alone and the loneliness feels so much worse when you are actually in a relationship. I love him to bits and so does he but on a day to day basis sometimes I feel invisible to him. (He has ADD and I don't) Even the tiniest issue about him has to be discussed and addressed as it feels of major importance to him (and I'm always there and happy to support him). Then when I feel sad or under the weather I'm on my own.

Good article from the Wall Street Journal today on marital nagging.  It's not specific to ADHD, but the nature of the problem and the recommendations are just as valid (or perhaps more so!) in an ADHD relationship.  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728.html