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I am new to this blog. I am a 29yo F who has ADD on medications. My partner and I have know each other for ten years and have been married for 3. I have come to realize that my partner has severe undiagnosed adhd. I thought I was disorganized and spacey until I began living with him. When we dated I did pick up red flags, messy apartment, survived on take-out and dependent on his mom for many chores. Of course love is blind and I figured that he would grow out of these bad habits. Wrong. Things honestly started right after moving in together. We did not live together before marriage.

Today I hit a low point. The last ten days, it has become clear that 

1) Whenever a decision needs to be made for the home or family, I need to make that decision without involving my ADD husband. This is because he now gets so aggravated by being asked what he prefers. And 

How can I extend love and warmth to a husband who is so hard to love?

My husband and I had a talk last night and he informed me he has something called Emotional Trauma/CPTSD, how to I deal with this along with the ADHD, any suggestions or advice would greatly be appreciated.

Thanks,

Kosty

Interesting post from #Quora

New to this site and forum and having a particularly hard day.  My husband was diagnosed with ADHD 15 months ago at age 39 after years of dealing with anxiety and depression and not being correctly diagnosed with the underlying ADHD he's had his whole life.  He is now on medication, going to start working with an ADHD executive skills coach, and we are seeing a couples therapist who specializes in ADHD but the rollercoaster of this ride has felt unbearable at times and is making me question whether or not I can stay in this marriage.  I'm worried so much damage has been done over the past 9

I'm trying to understand why my husband lied to me about texting with his brother Friday, it was only three texts, but still.

I was reading a post today that reminded me of the above phrase. The definition of sunk cost fallacy :

the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

I would like to know if any of your ADHD partners display thoughts and emotions which are disproportionate to reality?  This includes paranoid or conspiratorial thought processes, mistrust of Government or people or employers?