Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi - I am not born organized. My husband is the ADDer and really unorganized. That said we still have problems with the household,

HOWEVER I found the www.Flylady.net and she is so encouraging and inspiring and the forum is really supportive . First I found the book in Borders called 'Sink Reflections', then discovered the website. She sets up routines to keep the house in working order.

She write lists!

She works for 15 minutes spurts (most of the time.)

Hi, I have just discovered this website and I feel as though a lightbulb has gone on in my head. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 1 with two children aged 4 and 3 years old. Our 4 year old has always displayed signs of ADHD and he is getting progressively worse - this probed me to start researching into the condition. By doing this I have been overwhelmed by all the signs pointing to the fact that my son has probably inherited this from my husband...

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Every day my ADD husband and I have a set meeting time 6:30am to address any issues or topics before they turn into a larger issue - this has been very beneficial in helping our communication and my husband feels that this is a "safe/comfortable" forum to talk to me. We have been holding these meetings everyday for the past 9-10 weeks. So this morning my issues/concern was that he is sleeping ALOT. He has gone from not sleeping to sleeping 10-12hrs a day! Last week he had a cold so I chalked it up to that- which is understandable.

I dont know how to begin or even deal with this. I have read some stuff about herbal help? I dont have insurance so going to the Dr for help is really out of the question at this point. But I need to do something. I feel like I am losing my mind, I lose whole conversations because I am distracted and cant even remember having them. I feel like my mind is swiss cheese, just full of holes. I thought that maybe I was getting dementia or Alzheimers.... but after checking and reading about them I do not believe that is it.

Here we go again.

Earlier this year I caught my suspected-ADHD spouse with crystal meth.  At the time he was exhibiting the behaviors of a daily meth user.  It was HELL to live with him during this time.  Like any addict he denied he was on drugs.  I threw him out of the house. 

He showed promise he'd turned things around, started acting responsible (cleaning up his messes, taking care of his rented house, cooking) so he moved back in after a few months.

I'm sharing a true story. Something my ADHD husband did for me. This was only a few years ago well into our marriage. This is only one of many loving romantic or quirky things he has done in the course of our relationship. One of the reasons I feel he deserves for me to try to work at our marriage and one of the many reasons I love him. It took a lot of organizing, planning and follow up to make it happen, so I know there is hope. I also believe only an ADHDer could truly pull this off the way he did.

Since I found this site, I find myself posting a lot. It has been cathartic. Over the years I've had some support from my kids and a best friend who has a now adult child with ADHD.  She left her ADHD husband and is thriving, but I want to try to stay in mine. Most of the time I felt so alone and no-one understood either of us. I can understand why some of the posters sound so negative. I know for me I've held it all in for so long, it just pours out in this arena. A refuge. I wonder if once the pain and hurt and "bashing' gets out the tone becomes more positive?

As I read more on this site, it is as if a lightbulb has gone off. I'm finding more hope. During Thanksgiving dinner my ADHD husband had us all hysterically laughing. His sense of humor  and timing is amazing and hilarious. I've learned over the years it is one of his coping mechanisms.

I see that it's been 15 weeks and five days since I first posted here. That must have been right after I heard Melissa talking about her book and thinking - that sounds a lot like us. Since then I've read the ADHD and marriage book, a lot of delivered from distraction and a lot of posts here. I've talked to my husband about some of what I've read and we've talked about how some things about ADHD sound kind of like him. Our marriage isn't bad but there are things I thought could be better and they sound a lot like ADHD & marriage.