Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am the non-ADD spouse, I have heard many say on this site that the best approach in dealing with issues, especially those which cause anger and frustration, is to set priorities and deal with one issue at a time.  That makes such sense, intuitively.  But I find myself having a hard time picking the one (or two) issues that matter most.  One, because there seem to be so many of them.  Two, because any issue taken by itself doesn't feel like it is "high priority" - rather, it's the cumulative effect over time that might make something a high priority.  And third, because whatever is frustra

I know a lot of you can relate to this, but I wonder if anyone has a suggestion for how to solve the problem quickly.

My husband lost 7 jobs in 3 years before being diagnosed with depression and ADD. He got on meds and eventually decided to work again. Now he has a job he loves. He's a peer specialist working with the severely mentally ill. The job requires a person with a diagnosed mental illness. It gives insurance but even with that we still shell out over $100 a month for his meds.

My husband and I have been together for 13 year, married for almost 3. We are on the verge of divorce and things are not going well. He has always known he had ADD, but always thought if he tried harder that things would get better. I have been begging him to get help for years, and only last month did he decide that he did need help and started taking medication and seeing a psychologist after I told him that if he didn't do something that I would leave him.

Tonight when I got into bed with my laptop I was desperate, at my wits end, could have screamed the place down and then kept running so great is frustration and loss at where to go from here, what to do. Fortunately I put something into google and found this site. I have knowledge, have done a lot of reading and research but there is nothing quite like sharing with those that have been where you are and truly understand.

Georgia O'Keefe 2009 with Joan Allen and Jeremy Irons

The film portraits contrast of the control of inspiration/behavior between a wife and husband, both artists.

keywords: creativity stimulation boundaries control self-discipline depression extra-marital visual

ORIGINAL POST - April 2010

OOOOOOOOOOH my goodness. So when I first met my husband and got to know his family, I learned he had ADD. Ok...I knew that just as much as if I went out on the street and told someone, "hey, I have ADD". They 'know' I have it...but before I married my husband I didnt really know ADD. And now, as newlyweds, it is quite a challenge for me. The constant forgetfulness of things that are very important to me, not paying attention when I am trying to explain something that truly is an issue for me, not being responsible as far as waking up for class or appointments, etc.

Hi!

We believe my husband has ADD or ADHD. He has not been treated or diagnosed yet (we are working on that) but he answers "yes" to most symptoms of ADD.

So I have a question, I'd like to know if anyone else has dealt with or experienced this - My husband voices ALL of his thoughts.

For example, if we are watching a movie, he talks to/at the movie. He gasps, exclaims, and says things like "why did he do that, where is that person going, etc..." He also does this while reading a book or while working on a project.

I just started reading these forums - and so many of the problems and complaints I completely identify with, as my husband has ADHD.  He doesn't spend indiscriminately or rack up debt & is very driven, but he's still making me absolutely insane.  He constantly takes on projects that aren't absolutely necessary at the expense of family time, the latest being a house search (we live in a perfectly fine house, could use something larger, but this could have definitely waited) instead of spending time with our newest child, complains about how many things he has on his to-do list, complains

Lately, my ADD wife (who is now all too familiar with some of the impact her ADD is having in her social relationships), is beginning to share her feelings of overwhelm and low self-esteem with me.  Things like "I just have SO many things to work on and I can't be working on these things all the time!" and "I can't believe anybody even likes me because I am so bad in conversations."

I know she is "trying hard" to change things.  She got diagnosed and she is on meds, and she has done some reading.  There have been some changes but not a lot.