Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi, I'm new, I'm female and I have ADHD. I've been married to the same man for over 30 years. This is supposed to be where we share what makes us angry, frustrated and sad. I don't know about angry but...Frustrated. My daughters told me that they think our house is gross, that they're ashamed to have people over and my youngest was teased because of the state of our kitchen. I'm doing my best to clean more and to try to fix up the place. But we don't do renovations. We had to renovate our bathroom and our living room when a pipe burst. We removed carpet after the dogs peed on it.

It's been a while since I posted.  I left off last fall when my wife was finally diagnosed with ADHD and our 12-year-old (now identified as non-binary they) had been repeatedly admitted to psychiatric hospitals.

My partner and I have been together about 8 years.

During most of that time he had a job in the surveying industry, but we've always been poor.

We have twins who are 6 years old who are both neurodivergent, and my son is completely non communicative. 

Over the course of our relationship my partner has cheated on me at least 3 times, and I can confirm at least one time was full on intercourse (because they made a video that I found.)

So my husband who has left me over hardly any issues, suddenly mentioned to me of an incident six years ago where I apparently chased him down the hallway with a knife. I know that did not happen. I said to him why did you not mention this before, he says that's because he didn't want to remind me off it just in case I wanted to do it again. I'm finding this very upsetting, how would I forget something as grave as that but he's so persuasive he makes me doubt my own mind.

How could I be precise about my ADHD partner’s disorder?

Firstly, I'm a Japanese and I'm sorry if my English skill isn't enough to explain my thoughts.

I really would love to understand him as much as I can, accept his everything and love the way he is.
And stay his side whole my life.

So I'd like to talk about what he is bad at and what he wants me to do about things he's bad at.

But would ADHD individuals mind if their partner start the conversation about their disorder?

I have been married for over a decade. He was diagnosed with ADHD a few years after we were married. His work schedule is erratic and grueling because he works on-call and travels, so he explains this as the reason why he doesn't go to therapy. He also simply doesn't like taking medication. I don't believe in ultimatums, so I know my glaring options are to radically accept or just leave. I consider marriage a sacred union, so that means I radically accept my husband. I love him unconditionally.

My husband has been withholding sex for several years because he says he no longer is attracted to me due to my forgetfulness and not doing things the way he wants me to. I have forgotten things in his lunch and today I mailed a letter but neglected to send it three day mail like he wanted me to. We've been married for twenty years and he keeps saying he should just leave because he can't trust me to do anything right, that he might as well be single if he has to do everything himself. I don't know why I stay. I feel like such a failure in life.

Hey everyone I'm married to an adhd spouse and he's on meds but that's all he doesn't do any other therapy. He creates lists and never actually does anything on it, we have a house full of projects that need doing that never get done and I just sit here and stir, we have a baby at home and I'm terrified of divorce, having to split my time with my daughter, different holidays etc like many on here I'm hanging around because of my child, but I'm burnt out.

I just need to vent, and would like to have some commiseration.  So please share your stories about taking trips with you ADHD spouse. 

I'm working my way through the book, and am curious to hear what's working for other people. My partner has adhd, ocd and is on the autism spectrum - I am too young to be diagnosed with anything but am really trying to understand what boundaries I can have for myself, the relationship and how to cope