The First Time

ADHD & Marriage News - February 7, 2019

Quote of the Week

“When is the last time you did something for the first time?"

- Darius Rucker 

The First Time

One of the hardest parts of struggling in your relationship may be that as the two of you work hard to try to fix things, you spend a large amount of your time focused on your problems.  It may be, in fact, that you’ve forgotten to have fun together.

Yet marital research would suggest that one of the better ways to connect with each other is to do something ‘new and challenging’ together.  (Hint – going out to dinner may be fun, but it doesn’t qualify as ‘new and challenging!’)  Other research suggests that you need five positive interactions for every negative interaction you have in order to have a healthy relationship.  Having some fun can help you create that ratio.

I’ve long talked with seminar participants about trying to lighten up their lives a bit to remember why they love each other.  Some of the things they’ve added to their lives that were ‘new and challenging’ include:  Learning to rollerblade at Venice Beach, CA; taking dancing lessons together; trying out camping and more.  The fact that these are energetic, and often outside, helps, too.

What could you do – for the first time – that would help connect you and your partner?  Think about it, then go have some fun!

Need more loving suggestions? My phone Seminar for Couples Impacted by ADHD starts March 26th. This is my premier seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples. The 8 Sessions help Rebuild Trust, Deal with Anger, and Tap into Joy and Hope. Registration is Open.

Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group starts Feb 18, 2019

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

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© 2019 Melissa Orlov