ADHD and Marriage Blog

ADD, Marriage and Life: What's Really Important

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 03/30/2008.

I’ve been trying to think about whether to write about my mother’s recent death in this blog, and decided I would share some thoughts with my readers, whom I am coming to think of as long-distance friends.  Death, of course, makes you think about what is important in life.

ADD and Marriage: What Lack of Focus Means

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 03/12/2008.

I am reading the posts of a woman who is about to get married to a man whom she adores who happens to have ADD.  She is frustrated and confused by his inability to pay attention to wedding planning.  This seems like a great time to elaborate upon what lack of focus means for people with ADD – and for their spouses.

Finding the Inspiration to Change and Thrive in ADHD Marriages

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 03/04/2008.

People often ask me the question – how did you find the inspiration to turn your marriage, and your life, around?  I think you know when “inspiration” hits – it’s like a light bulb going on.  Something very central to who you are and how you think changes dramatically enough so that you find hope, balance, and a sense of self that rings true and provides drive from the inside out.  Inspiration, whether it comes as an “aha moment” or as a steady set of choices about being a better person, can come from many sources, and I would like to suggest a few here.

How Do I Get My Spouse to Deal with ADD?

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/27/2008.

I gave a talk last night for ADDclasses.com about overcoming anger and frustration in ADHD relationships.  At the end of the session listeners asked two very important questions:  how do I get my spouse with ADHD to admit he has ADD and participate in improving our relationship? And, as an ADHD spouse, how do I get my non-ADD spouse to admit I have ADD and start to deal with it?

20 Ideas for Fun

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/26/2008.

Treatment and communication skills are only part of the process of improving your marriage.  Research shows that another really important thing to do is HAVE FUN!  By replacing “down” times with “up” times you create new patterns and new pathways in your brain that support growing and continued happiness.  To spur you on, I have created a list of fun activities you might try!

GMH: Gross Marital Happiness

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/19/2008.

The country of Bhutan has set its goal for development as "Gross National Happiness" rather than "GNP".  This got me thinking - what would happen if your goal for your marriage was GMH - Gross Marital Happiness?  Bhutan guides its development ideas with "four pillars of Gross National Happiness".  They are sustainable development, environmental protection, cultural preservation, and good governance.  What would be the pillars of GMH?

ADD & Marriage: How Do I Get Him To Listen?

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/18/2008.

One of the most frequent questions that comes up is one of frustration – “how do I get my ADD spouse to listen to me about our problems?”  The short answer is that you can’t if he doesn’t want to, but let me elaborate, as this is clearly at the heart of many struggling marriages.

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