Over 15 years ago, when I was feeling unhappy in my relationship, my husband asked me what the chore he should take over. To his surprise, I said ‘do the dishes!!!’ Turns out, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Sharing dish duties turns out to be really important to a whole lot of women.
When is it nagging and when is it reminding? For non-ADHD partners, it can be hard to figure out whether - or how - to remind a partner of something that needs to get done. Here are some ideas about where to draw the line.
This guest blog post has been provided by Hal Meyer and Susan Lasky of the ADD Resource Center.
You fell in love with his boyish enthusiasm, adventuresome spirit and easy-going charm. Now you are frustrated that he decides to go skiing instead of shoveling the snow off the walkway, or forgets to take the children to the dentist. You were fascinated by her many interests, creativity and “enjoy the moment” approach to life. Now you are fed up with the clutter of her incomplete projects, and annoyed by her indifference to planning meals and shopping. It is easier to love someone with ADHD than it is to live with them.
The August 8th cover story of Time Magazine was entitled "Chore Wars" with the subhead "Let it go. Make peace. Men and women, it turns out, work the same amount." But it misses a huge cohort of adults for whom the chore wars are still all too real – adults with ADHD and their spouses.
What happens when an ADHD partner takes responsibility for ADHD issues, but still struggles to make things go smoothly? Here's a good example of the process that couples go through to find a balance that can work for them.
When ADHD is in the marital mix, it can be a real challenge to get household chores done without one or the other feeling exasperated, angry or shamed. Here are my top 10 tips for organizing your home when one (or both!) partner has ADHD: