As I've mentioned in a number of my posts, my ADD spouse and I separated several years ago because I just couldn't take dealing with his ADD issues any more. Even though he had been on medication and in counseling for 10 years, there were still many problems, especially in the area of communication. As our marriage disintegrated, the communications got worse. So when we decided we wanted to try to salvage our marriage, my husband's counselor (who also knew me from some joint counseling sessions we had done) suggested that we should try a different approach to communication. Instead of d
I am reading the posts of a woman who is about to get married to a man whom she adores who happens to have ADD. She is frustrated and confused by his inability to pay attention to wedding planning. This seems like a great time to elaborate upon what lack of focus means for people with ADD – and for their spouses.
In a blog about ADHD and marriage, it’s all too easy to “hyperfocus” on the ins and outs of relationships, without looking at some more general issues that many have with ADHD. We got this post recently from a man who is having trouble focusing at work. So, for all of you who have trouble getting going at work, here are some tips:
Being a person who does not have ADHD married to a person who does have ADHD can be wonderful. It can also be intensely frustrating. I am a non-ADHD spouse married to a man who has ADHD. Dr. Hallowell has the opposite - he has ADHD while his wife does not (part of the reason we are teaming up to write a book on this topic - we balance each other out!) If you are a spouse without ADHD, you may well recognize much of what I am about to describe in your own marriage, for without a doubt I have experienced the "classic" ADHD-affected marriage.
So, what does it feel like to be married to a person with ADHD when you do not have it yourself? What are some of the basic patterns?