Treatment and communication skills are only part of the process of improving your marriage. Research shows that another really important thing to do is HAVE FUN! By replacing “down” times with “up” times you create new patterns and new pathways in your brain that support growing and continued happiness. To spur you on, I have created a list of fun activities you might try!
- Take up a new sport together. Tennis, squash, paddle tennis and (sometimes) running can all be done as a couple.
- If you are really intrepid, take up golf.
- Go to the local water sports center and learn to sail, canoe or kayak
- Take dance lessons (salsa and tango can be fun and funny!) then go out to a dance club when you "graaduate".
- Go to “skid school” or driving school together.
- Go camping.
- Take a hike in the woods or around the neighborhood (walking and talking is a great way to learn to appreciate each other again!)
- Explore that historic area near home that you’ve always wondered about.
- Play “Wii” together (tennis, golf, bowling games are fun) or find a car racing video game and see who can run the other off the road faster!
- If you’re young enough to stand it, play paintball or laser tag with your kids.
- Take cooking lessons as a pair (the man in the couple will get lots of accolades for attending!) then alternate cooking romantic meals for each other (don’t forget the candles – be as corny as you want!)
- Volunteer for a local church, nursing home, pre-school, senior center, or English as a second language program.
- Rent a camper and go on the road for a couple of weeks.
- Learn to ski (downhill or cross country).
- Try a day at the racetrack or speedway (agree ahead of time what your gambling limit might be, or this could turn into a very bad day!)
- Join an orienteering or cycling club for an outing. Take some friends.
- Ride bikes to someplace fun for lunch.
- Walk on the beach (or in your nearby park) and watch the sun set.
- Pick a place you’ve never been, and go there, just for the heck of it.
- Spruce up your sex life by putting a months worth of “sex dates” on your calendar, then trying something new and different each time (take turns leading)
You’ll notice that these ideas have a few things in common – they are “new”, they are “active” and many are light or silly. New or active things are more likely to keep the attention of an ADD spouse, silly is just one more way to lighten up. In addition, those that include exercise will make you feel physically better as well as mentally.
Do you have some fun activities you would like to add to the list?