ADHD and Marriage: Preparing for the New Year

Okay, I admit I stole this idea, but I will give full credit to Experience Life Magazine staff for writing a bit about why it’s important to think carefully about this year’s successes before setting your New Year’s resolutions (you can read the article here).  This is a particularly smart idea for couples who’ve been struggling with ADHD issues for a while.  Let me give you my specific thoughts…

The gist of the Experience Life article is that you probably have accomplished more than you think, and that an accumulation of small victories is important.  Acknowledging them can help you set realistic goals for 2012 and also be optimistic about your ability to reach the next targets.

Here are some things you might have accomplished this year, for example:

  • After many years, your ADHD partner finally came to terms with having ADHD – perhaps getting an evaluation or starting treatment for the first time
  • One or both of you “went to school” on ADHD – learning a lot of new information you didn’t have before
  • You each started experimenting with ways to manage ADHD in your relationship
  • Perhaps you took my couples course or went to hear a talk about ADHD
  • You’ve started to work out more and think about yourself, not just your partner.  Maybe you’re start to work on your sleep and diet.
  • By learning more about ADHD you’ve become more compassionate towards your ADHD or non-ADHD partner’s challenges

ALL of these things represent real progress, even if they have not yet gotten you to your identified finish line.

So make sure to give yourself a pat on the back for any progress either of you has made and then think about the foundation you may have built.  What might be some positive next steps you would like to set as goals that could build on that base?  I would love to hear your thoughts and personal goals.