As background - this person is trying hard to make his relationship better. And, like many with ADHD, he is a relatively upbeat person. He knows he has talent in some areas of his life - and this makes his struggles in his relationship even more perplexing to him. Like many with ADHD, he struggles to fit the pieces together as he surveys the contradictions in his life, asking "I am so skilled (in my job) and motivated to Solve Problems and Make Dreams Come True for others - but can hardly even identify what my dreams are let alone get near to fulfilling them for myself?"
He wrote this poem to try to get some of his feelings out - to try to be able to observe them better so he could change that little voice in his head. With his permission, I share it here.
- Renewed Anxiety -
So profound the anticipation, so great the effort, so selfless the investment, so long
the wait, so tempered the expectations, so fervent the hope.
So unforeseen the demise, so swift the derailment, so burning the sting, so
instantaneous the deflation, so catastrophic the state.
So scant the recognition, so far from understanding, so forgiveness-lacking, so
paralyzed in the past, so formidable the armor, so swiftly justified.
So heavy the heart, so waning the optimism, so arduous the resolve, so looming the
resentment, so re-reopened the wounds, so hampered the recovery.
So perplexing the dynamic.
So very debilitating.
So familiar the outcome.
So reluctant to try yet once more.