Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi All,

Physically challenged vs mentally challenged 

How do you diffuse anger when it seems as though your partner is escalating on their own?

Picture this I am at a beautiful campground with my ADHD husband and we have just gone on a wonderful bicycle ride on a trail that leads to a lake. We are sitting by the lake and my husband suddenly blurts out in a very sarcastic manner "by the way thanks for mending my sweatshirt". I said oh I forgot, leave it out when we get home and I'll mend it. He says, don't bother I took it to get mended, and proceeded to lecture me on my forgetfulness and how I should not be since I am 13 years younger than him. (I am 56).

I've been very driven the past several months to find answers....There is such a huge myriad of issues in our marriage relationships, that it has been super difficult for me to find the bottom line....Tonight I was reading some of melissa's comments, and other posters, as far back as 10 years....And the thing I keep hearing from the non's is, all the negative effects they are encountering because of the realities in their relationship attempts...Most of the books and articles I've read related to this subject (adhd and marriage) for the most part, is addressing these same topics....

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

I am very new to this, so I'm going to keep this post short.  I was a widower and recently remarried a widow, and we are both retired (in our early 60s).  She has ADHD (self-diagnosed, untreated).  She told me she was ADHD, and I did a little research on the subject, but I sure didn't learn enough to know what I was really getting into.  Now I'm in it.  Wow.  I read of the struggles of others on this site (a site which I discovered not too long ago), and I've noticed that most (all?) the ADHD spouses are the husbands.  I wonder if this is unusual for the wife to be ADHD?

I am a new poster to this forum, this will be long, but I want to explain my background, my joy in the validation that I have felt from finding these books and forums, and my outstanding anger and resentment over what has gone down.

Don’t Just Talk, Communicate

Good communication is the key to strong relationships. This is true for adults with and without attention deficit. The problem is, adults with ADHD often think that they’re communicating when really they’re just talking. How to get your feelings across effectively with friends and partners.

BY KATHLEEN NADEAU, PH.D.

Adults with ADHD know that communication can break down when they are preoccupied with a particular problem, and don’t — or can’t — get their feelings across to their partners.