Sorry for the long post. And I don't know what forum post this in.
My wife an I have been together for 19 years. We have been through a lot together and built an amazing life so I thought. We have 3 wonderful kids, 14, 11 and 8 years old.
It has been a very long time since I have posted. I keep making progress, but honestly, it is not nearly enough yet. My ADHD is quite severe. To give you the background, I have been gluten free for 5 years, take all the vitamins recommended for my ADHD, I exercise regularly, eat cleanly (no refined sugar, but plenty of veggies and protein), have figured out how to sleep better, have been meditating daily for 2.5 months, am quite organized at work. I take meds 3 times a day.
We went to New Zealand to visit my best friend for 2 weeks and got back two days ago. I had my fears about this trip knowing how H can get irritated very easily and doesn't like doing a lot of things or being around a lot of people. Seeing as how it was my best friend and her husband I felt he would keep everything under control, but I was wrong. Everything was great from the Tuesday we got there through that Saturday. Saturday we had his 50th birthday party, which he loved.
This is my first time posting. This site seems like a lifeline right now. I don’t have anyone else in my life that understands what it’s like to be married to someone affected by this disorder.
Almost every book and article I've read mentions how most nonADHD spouses get into the habit of nagging and criticizing, etc. In our house, that didn't happen. When I would ask for him to take something on or to help, he would get so angry, even though I was only asking. Very often, that very first request would elicit the "stop nagging me" accusation, even though it was the first request. And I wanted to avoid his anger so much that I didn't ask anymore. Plus, he didn't get angry and then change later. He just got angry.
Does anyone have any experience with the Amen Clinic?
Hello to all. I've been reading the site for several weeks. What incredible validation (!!!) as I have read so many stories. I'm so glad this site is here!
Hello,
How have others overcome the ADHD spouse feeling like the non-ADHD spouse is putting them on probation? My ADHD wife keeps saying it feels like that, which makes me feel horrible, but I'm also exhausted with the clutter, forgetfullness, lack of responsibility and mistakes (many that cost us financially). We've been married 17 years and have two sons ages 14 and 16. It kills me to think of breaking up the family over forgetfullness or household clutter. I feel my kids will blame me.
You all know from my previous posts what a mess my ex's life is and that it's been that way for a very long time.
Well I just found out that he bought the new girlfriend a diamond solitaire ring that she is now sporting on her left ring finger.
Yet he is telling his family oh, we're not engaged.. it's just a gift...
Just two months ago he told his son and daughter in law that he didn't want to introduce this woman to them because he wasn't sure it would last and that he didn't want to be tied down to anything.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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