Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm the ADHD husband in a family and recently found myself relating very strongly to ADHD the same way every other person in these posts does, and if you've read about people with ADHD, they may work as though their symptoms are non-existent in some things but in most things in their life it is largely obvious. So for me, where my symptoms are very hard to detect or much more subtle is in my love for psychology. Specifically, understanding how I act and how others act and why. Also on how to overcome or alter any undesirable habits or actions that I notice from these.

I am so glad I found ADHD & Marriage, Melissa Orlov, her books and online seminars because I can relate with so much of what is shared.  I've wanted to comment for a long time. I feel like I need a sense of community, support which I feel when learning about ADHD, going to counseling,etc.  The big 'however' is my spouse with ADHD who doesn't follow through, forgets, is emotionally unconnected ( not just with me), doesn't put things aways, loses things, etc.  I have been in therapy for many years with the issue of marriage always the main focus.

Hello All,

I am a long-time reader of this site and forum. And so many posts are similar to my struggles with my untreated ADHD husband. His lying, avoidance, being financially irresponsible. All the pressure being on me to earn the majority of our income to support our family. And his constant empty promises or his lashing out and defensiveness.

We have been together about twelve years and married for seven and have five-year-old twins. And I am just so exhausted from it all.

Relevance....the quality or state of being closely connected or appropriate.

My husband is ADHD and I am not; we've been married 17 years. I love him dearly. His ADHD habits, however, make me feel worn down and thin on years of patience. His habit is to grope and grab me when I'm in the midst of activities such as cooking and other household duties. I have a history of sxual trauma that leaves me always in a state of alert self protection. While I've done years of counseling and therapy, he is not open to it. He keeps telling me that it's what he wants and I need to get over it.

I was ranting.  I'm over it.  I deleted my rant.

Hi:  I got on this site about 6 years ago in desperation and isolation.  I've been married to an otherwise wonderful man for almost 23 years.  When we had twins 17 years ago his ADD exploded.  He and I are the exact example of a couple in "The ADD Effect on Marriage."  We have both been aware of our situation since discovering this site and these books.  Armed with that knowledge, I took him to the Mayo Clinic, have arranged therapy with 5 different marriage counselors over the years and have made myself crazy.

I've been in a relationship with someone with ADHD for a little over a year now, and all I can say is that I'm tired. We've broken up and gotten back together 4 times now. It's a cycle: he gets sick of the routine we're in, he wants to break free, so he breaks up with me. Then, he misses me, and comes running back. And I take him back every time because I love him so so much, and when we're together, it's the most magical feeling ever because he's so focused on us. But I can't help thinking, will we last?

My husband has ADHD. For most of our marriage I've been the breadwinner in our family - bringing almost 80% of our income. I am ambitious - I work hard and I love doing well financially. When I am doing well, I love to share the fruits of my labor. I love being generous and having nice things. My husband, not so much. He's had a few jobs since we've been together, but they are usually low-wage jobs - and none have lasted. The last job he had - he was demoted from a supervisor to a delivery driver. I can tell it really hurt his ego and he ended up quitting without a back up plan.