Recent forum posts (all topics)

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my long distance relationship with my fianceé. He had been very distant for a couple of weeks before, but last week he started communicating more and I was happy for it.

My ex-wife showed almost everyone of the classic Adhd symptoms in adult women. Always misplacing things, house a mess, clothes in piles, money randomly placed around house, empty cigarette cartons in different of clothes drawers,curling irons left on consistantly. I could go on & on regarding her symptoms. After doing lots of research on this subject, i finally realized what our issues were caused from in our marriage of 8 years. We were madly in love the first couple of years. Then after having 2 children starting 1 year after our marriage things started to change.

I am new to this website and keep seeing Melissa Orlov state the following: "couples that are well educated about how to manage the impact of ADHD can thrive together"  However, everything I am reading is to the contrary and doesn't give me much hope, Where are the testimonials from all of the "thriving couples"???

Lastnight my ADHD husband tried to pick a fight with me in the store. He was tired from working long hours and was clearly a grumpy child in need of a nap. He's also as violent as a 5yr old, mind you. He'll punch walls, swear enough to make a sailor blush, swing his arms wildly, and give people death stares when HE hits THEM. Not to mention try to pick fights. He started to pick one with ME last night, by claiming that I was looking at the space between his eyes? He looked like he was about to raise his fist and sock me one.

The most frustrating part of dealing with an ADHD spouse is their mind is so scattered that they don't realize their mind is scattered. The excuses, defensiveness, and the absurd circular logic is mind boggling. Nobody can possibly defend this position without creating some kind of weird alternate reality for themselves. They are normal, it is the rest of us who are crazy.

     My husband and I are currently  separated, but when he took me to the doctor a few days ago we had a series of good talks. He is looking for an ADHD coach, and he's finally, finally admitting the ADHD is affecting him more than he wanted to admit. He also told me he is scared he's going to find out he might be worse than his schizophrenic brother and bipolar mother.  I think fear has driven several of his behaviors that he hasnt wanted to face.

Now that we are separated, my husband has made a big deal out of having dinner with our son, a high school Senior, on Thursday nights--just the two of them for "boys night out". (Perhaps it goes without saying that Thursday was chosen because of its supreme convenience for my husband, although a Thursday school night is far from ideal for a kid struggling with his own Dyslexia/ADHD homework challenges.) Husband has now blown off two of these Thursdays in a row.

Something I am reading over the years on this board is "...but I love him."  This, after atrocious stories of not communicating, irresponsibility, ignoring, sometimes mean things the writer has written about the person they "love".  I understand this but I no longer say this is true for me.  In these cases, LOVE is not love but NEED and DENIAL....and grasping for hope.  Fantasy thinking.