Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hey all. I've been married to my husband who has ADHD for almost 11 yrs. Its been a rollercoaster to say the least, and from what I've read on this forum (I'm new here) you guys all know all about that particular ride. Which I am so sorry for, for you and your spouses both. I love my husband dearly and would not consider divorce unless he became violent, which he never has. Our main issues are 1: he ignores me. 2: He works incredibly hard, but is incredibly irresponsible with his money. And 3: I feel like I am dating every single person he knows. Like we are in a 50-way relationship.

I'm asking this for my husband, who has been diagnosed with inattentive ADD.  He's trialed strattera, ritalin, concerta, adderall, adderall xr, vyvanse, focalin, daytrana and wellbutrin.  None of them had ANY beneficial effect other than the vyvanse having a barely discernable positive effect.  He experienced most of the bad side effects of every med; increased BP and heart rate, anxiety, panic attacks, big crashes after it wears off, etc.  

After 16 years of craziness and chaos, I've decided to divorce my ADHD husband.  I didn't know until 2 years ago that he had ADHD; it was when our then-8 year old daughter was diagnosed with inattentive subtype ADHD that I realized how profoundly his life and our marriage has been impacted by his undiagnosed condition.  He is 62 now, and although I've made reference to his ADHD, he has never accepted it or really taken what I've said seriously.

"In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, .... not to debate whether you should have been upset in the first place  ...None of my concerns were ever addressed. They were simply deflected onto me. I had stopped taking issue with his actions because I wasn’t allowed to."

This is taken from a site below telling ways to tell if your spouse might be manipulative.  It is an interesting and eye opening article:

I have thought for years that my DH (45 y.) has ADD. Many symptoms seem to fit (always late, cannot start/finish projects, disorganized, distractible etc etc). Also, Ms. Orlov's book about ADHD and marriage seemed to fit perfectly with my own experience. I read this forum regularly and can identify with 99,99 % of the frustrations. DH's father suspected that he himself has it, and DH's cousin has the diagnosis.

As a long-term partner of someone with ADHD, when I was looking for support, I became increasingly sick of reading how it's me that should adapt and change all the time - because after all that's what my ADHD partner needs. Often, threads in forums labelled as 'support for partners' are immediately hijacked by those with ADHD quickly telling us what they need us to do in order to help them - like we don't do that and live with that every day.

Hi All,

Anyone out there willing to share their thoughts about the music video ;  Broken Together by Casting Crows ?  U Tube = Casting Crowns-Broken Together ( Official Music Video )   It seems that TODAY, on this Forum, contemplating relational difficulties is fitting. 

ADH9er 

Sad to say, I had a very bad day yesterday physically and emotionally, and was overwhelmed with what was happening between my husband and I. I tried to have a conversation with him, and he again said something very ADHD, which was angry in nature, (which he denies) and says "Don't take it personally". The conversation went  like this: I told him something I felt was important that I learned about, which was a political subject, and he states "I'd have to SEE that to believe it". (which he has said hundreds of times).

The day on which, because I'm "the best thing that ever happened" to my spouse (his words, more than once), he does nothing to signal his affection for me.  Oh, wait, that's every day.  He never signals his affection for "the best thing that ever happened" to him.