As I was reading up on this concept of "Safeguarding"......it immediately resonated with me. Not to assume that everyone will have this same experience.... but for those who don't....I think there is a direct relationship to this in terms of "physiological motivation"....which helps explain the "why" in peoples behavior and the motivation behind it.
Hello All,
My first post was about 9 years ago. I had just met my soon-to-be husband and began the process of eagerly immersing myself in "all that is ADD".
It's been nearly 9 years, and we're still married.
I love him dearly, yet can absolutely relate to NEARLY every heart-wrenching post.
I am at this place of wanting to do something in a different way. I am inspired by that old saying - "If you always do - what you always did - you always get - what you always got."
How do you heal a marriage? how do you explain you don't mean for your ADHD to hurt them? Especially when you didn't even know you had ADHD. My husband perceived my actions as rejection but that was never my intent.
Bear with me, there is a point to this.
I moved this topic that evolved from a different thread to address what I realized is directly related to my anger and why I experience it. It is, at the source....out of frustration at the core....but it's a frustration that never gets resolved and therefore....will fester into anger. I think the experience of having ADHD that is frustrating in itself let alone any added frustration. At times this can be overwhelming and it can all come crashing down on you when you lose your ability to tolerate IT anymore. What is IT? Read further....
Proving a Negative ie: Russel's Teapot
After several day's of quiet reflection and thought concerning our struggles. I've come to the conclusion my wife is unapproachable...It hasn't stopped me from trying for 7+ years...But the fruit of my attempts hasn't changed much of anything for the better anyway....
ADH9er,
I truly Ibelieve there was not anything my spouse - ADH9er - could do while I struggled and learned and healed myself - through counseling - for eating disorders and the unhealthy characteristics of being the adult child of an alcoholic. It was a difficult awful road of searching for answers. For quite a while, the scales were tipped to my side.
What I am hoping to realize in supporting you in your efforts is, based on information that was gleaned from our original ADHD & Marriage sessions in 2012:
Turn your knowledge into actionable steps to improve your relationship. join our Intent-to-Action Membership Program.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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