Recent forum posts (all topics)

Life; its not about right or wrong, or love, its about reality:)

As I surf over the posts on this forum it revels many common themes concerning our marriages, our spouses and us...I just want to address one that seems common to us all....And it's our feelings about the blind spots (emotional abandonment) our spouses have concerning us...It seems based on your comments and rants, along with my life experience's this is very common among us....

So, lets look at a few things we all can agree on as the problems...Based on the information in these forums and again in my experiences, lets try to ask some questions that can help us....

Is it better if you leave?

My partner and I have been together for 15 years and the last five have been extremely hard.  I have contemplated leaving many times.  I hate how I feel around him.  There is very little effort, little sharing of partnership, a lot of similarities to what I have been reading on this site.  What I would like to know, is it better for those who have left?  Is it better for you mentally?  Better for your children?  I so want to do the right thing and I do love my partner but his ADHD is destroying me and I don't know how long I can continue to endure it.

OCD Gone Horribly Wrong

Forum: 

If you are in the mood for humor.  I just saw this rerun of Frazier for the first time.  I almost pee'd.  Of course I am personally invested in someone who is a tad bit this way herself which is why this is so funny to me.  Anyway...for what it's worth.  I thought it was good for a laugh if you needed one.  Enjoy.

here's the clip   https://youtu.be/7XN-J_0nYhI

 

J

I am second guessing myself...

Hi everybody, and thanks so much for your time and emotional support.  As I stated earlier in my other post, I am not sure what the diagnosis would be for my chronically angry BF, but now that he has been out of the house for a few days, I am starting to worry and feel guilty about my tough love approach of "get therapy or get out!" approach to his problems.

When your spouse forgets your birthday...again

In the grand scheme of things a birthday probably isn't a huge deal to most people. However, in my marriage I don't get a lot of intimate cuddle time (once or twice a month), we went almost 4 years once without physical intimacy (I'm an every day kinda person), I don't get taken out on dates, and my spouse rarely tries to surprise me. So I've been with my ADHD husband for a very long time, 17 years now. Over the years I've come to dread the holidays, instead of looking forward to Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, or my birthday I've actually begun to feel depressed as the dates approach.

When H told me we need to sit down an look at our finances, this isn't what I was expecting!

Since H hasn't worked in 3 months he thought we should look at our finances one night and cut what we could. I thought "Great, we'll take an hour and spread all our bills out on the kitchen table and go over them one by one. Well what was I thinking?! His idea of going over finances is sitting on the couch in front of the tv and opening up a few websites on the laptop to see what we owe.

Not sure what to do

Typical back story of adhd relationship. I was diagnosed just over a year ago. About 8.5ish years into a marraige ravaged by undiagnosed adhd.  My wife looks at me with a mixture of hate / coldness. I am constantly being called names. Im told that i am a failure, worthless and at this point only good for a paycheck. Constant fighting, that ends with me crying because"im too emotional". Im always reminded that i personally and single handedly ruined the marraige/ her life.

Newbie

Hi 

I am new, I am reading the book on Marriage and ADHD. Great book and very helpful. I have ADHD and my wife and I only found out 4 years ago with 8 years together not knowing about it. Since I found out I have had two heart surgeries. This only happened after the tests for me to take meds for my ADHD. I could not take the meds until after my second operation. My wife has been through hell,with me and she is my world and I love her deeply. I never thought I would be in this position considering I hated relationships because of my ADHD.

Paranoia and anger with too much medication??

H is taking dexamphetamines under the supervision of a psychiatrist for ADD and depression. He started about 14 months ago. If he doesn't monitor how many he is taking he starts to show paranoia and  anger - which almost brought our marriage undone. He has settled down now and has been regular in taking them. The last few weeks have been busy and it appears he has been erratic in taking his medications - possibly not taking his Prozac and increasing his dexis.

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