Hi everybody, and thanks so much for your time and emotional support. As I stated earlier in my other post, I am not sure what the diagnosis would be for my chronically angry BF, but now that he has been out of the house for a few days, I am starting to worry and feel guilty about my tough love approach of "get therapy or get out!" approach to his problems.
In reading posts it occurs to me that some of us have left the ADHD relationship but are still searching for a way to recover from the impact it had on our lives. Anyone else feel the same?
In the grand scheme of things a birthday probably isn't a huge deal to most people. However, in my marriage I don't get a lot of intimate cuddle time (once or twice a month), we went almost 4 years once without physical intimacy (I'm an every day kinda person), I don't get taken out on dates, and my spouse rarely tries to surprise me. So I've been with my ADHD husband for a very long time, 17 years now. Over the years I've come to dread the holidays, instead of looking forward to Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, or my birthday I've actually begun to feel depressed as the dates approach.
Since H hasn't worked in 3 months he thought we should look at our finances one night and cut what we could. I thought "Great, we'll take an hour and spread all our bills out on the kitchen table and go over them one by one. Well what was I thinking?! His idea of going over finances is sitting on the couch in front of the tv and opening up a few websites on the laptop to see what we owe.
Typical back story of adhd relationship. I was diagnosed just over a year ago. About 8.5ish years into a marraige ravaged by undiagnosed adhd. My wife looks at me with a mixture of hate / coldness. I am constantly being called names. Im told that i am a failure, worthless and at this point only good for a paycheck. Constant fighting, that ends with me crying because"im too emotional". Im always reminded that i personally and single handedly ruined the marraige/ her life.
Hi
I am new, I am reading the book on Marriage and ADHD. Great book and very helpful. I have ADHD and my wife and I only found out 4 years ago with 8 years together not knowing about it. Since I found out I have had two heart surgeries. This only happened after the tests for me to take meds for my ADHD. I could not take the meds until after my second operation. My wife has been through hell,with me and she is my world and I love her deeply. I never thought I would be in this position considering I hated relationships because of my ADHD.
H is taking dexamphetamines under the supervision of a psychiatrist for ADD and depression. He started about 14 months ago. If he doesn't monitor how many he is taking he starts to show paranoia and anger - which almost brought our marriage undone. He has settled down now and has been regular in taking them. The last few weeks have been busy and it appears he has been erratic in taking his medications - possibly not taking his Prozac and increasing his dexis.
So I have been posting here for a long time and reading all the post for a long time and I am starting to wonder if DHs ADHD is not the issue, we just have a crummy marriage that has run its course. It's been 20 years. Maybe that's all we have in us. I just don't know what to say or do any more. DH comes and goes as he pleases, sometimes tells me when he is coming home, sometimes not. Today he was supposed to be home by 4:30 and instead walked in at 7:45, but only because he had taken his car to have a recall fixed. So how do I get mad at that??
My DH has had a diagnosis of ADHD for a few years now, and I've read Melissa's book and have followed here for a while, but this is my first post. I am at a point where I just feel broken and really scared, and I just can't stop going over this in my head. DH has been on a low dose of ritalin for a year or so, along with a low dose of celexa, all prescribed by our family doctor. It helps some, but we still have a lot of problems and our marriage is on the verge of being over, despite the fact that we really do love each other.
I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He is 44. He has openly spoke about having ADD and he has the symptoms. Having said that I feel like it may be something more. He is always stressed. He has the worst explosive road rage I've ever seen. He blurts out horrible mean things to the point where I'm usually shocked and taken aback by what he says. He collects papers, post its and clutter. His house has become what looks like a "hoarders" place. He can't even live there anymore and essentially has in with me.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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