Recent forum posts (all topics)

I wanted to make some observations about this topic and compare them to myself and my past vs present.  I think two things happen when we have expectations of what "should be" and then it doesn't happen: 1) we are disappointed and 2) we (can) get angry if we never seem to get what we expect.  The question becomes...where do these expectations come from in the first place?  How did we arrive at these expectations and why do we have them?  Where does the concept of things that "should be" originate and is this even realistic in the first place.  No one can predict the future or know what anot

This is not a sarcastic question--is there some corollary between ADHD and physical ailments?  I know that ADHD people are more prone to accidents and injuries due to impulsive, risk taking behavior--that I can totally see not only in DH but in my kids, both of whom have ADHD too.  What I am talking about is physical complaints, ailments, aches and pains.  In the past 20 years I cannot tell you how many aches and pains DH complains about.  I am sure it is not a daily thing, but it seems like it.

I just made this account now after trying to find help & info online. So, here's my ''story''...

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and it's long distance. Problem is.. I just don't understand what he expects from me regarding his anger issues caused by ADHD. He gets so angry over little things, so I try to explain my side but he just flips out, expecting me to take it. And I do, mostly.. I just don't know when I need to back off because he can't help it, or when he's actually being mean and I need to stand up for myself.

Hi all. This is only my second post here, but I have been following this site for almost a year now.

I am desperately looking for some help in finding a better wat to communicate with a partner who emotionally stonewalls. Absolutely refuses to acknowledge the validity of any viewpoint other than his. Wants to spend his time arguing the nuances of "logic" in a situation, rather than addressing the emotions involved. Tells me that whatever he did/said was "no hurtful" and therefore "he can't give me any acknowledgement for that".

I found this wonderful website while trying to do some research on ADD/ADHD, and have finally summoned the courage to post. I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. He has diagnosed ADD, and is on medication. Typically, he is one of the most caring, kind hearted people I've ever met. He dotes on me, is attentive and tries hard to keep his ADD under control. He tries his hardest to listen and pay attention to me. He is very loving and patient. In almost all areas, he's the best man I could have hoped for. However, despite all of his wonderful qualities, I am at the brink of ending things.

Hypersensitivity and an Overwhelming mind...It's not by design and or even desire that the inability to communicate calmly is such a reality for many of us. It's also not the lack of love or even respect and/ or commitment in many cases....It's the working of the mind...When the mind is so cluttered with diseased thinking. When everything is in such an emotional, and psychological state for the mind that it responds (it's thinking flows out in words) without thinking (no filter) it's ability to start and continue peacefully is severely hampered if not impossible.

After three months of ADHD drugs and hours of self treatment (learning life strategies etc) I have seen improvements at work and in what little social life I occasionally have. Aw mentioned many times before: the suicidal thoughts have just diappeared too. However, the situation at home is as bad as it ever has been. As indicated by the many spouses on this site, being easily frustrated, grumpy, inattentive and impulsive makes someone unlikable. I get it. But at what point does persistent, verbal and physical aggression even against the most unlikeable person constitute domestic abuse?

So there is this quote by a poet named Iain S Thomas--I saw it on another website--it goes like this: Be soft.  Do not let the world make you hard.  Do not let the pain make you hate.  Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.  Lots of us here often post about how our ADHD person has changed us.  It makes me sad that my softness is gone.  My world with DH has made me hard.  My pain at not having the marriage I thought I would and wasting 20 years on it makes me hate.  The bitterness of the whole stupid situation has stolen my sweetness.  And so here I am.

This is a really complicated topic, but it is one I have been reading about to help me understand who I am and why I ended up being this way.  So far it is the only way I have been able to describe some traits I have that appear to be out of the norm in some ways which other people have noticed about me and especially in context to having ADHD and what I have read here in this forum about the spouses (men in particular) with ADHD.  In order to explain this I have to add some of my childhood abuse to this story because it is the reason why I ended up the way I did?  Just to be sure,  at this

I've been ready for years - we've been together for 16 years - and I know the mutually beneficial portion of our relationship ended at least 6 years ago. So I've been thinking about it for a long while and every time I come to this forum I vow to never be one of those who is writing this thread after 20, 30 or 40 years. But it just seems so unfair to my ADHD partner to leave. It's not like I'm perfect and trouble-free, so why not share our lives together til the end even if we drive each other nuts?