For the past few months, I have tried a new tactic. As soon as H would start yelling, I would leave and not come back for a day or two.
For awhile, H would just get angrier and more verbally threatening, this is what is called an Extinction Burst. When the Non sets a Boundary, the mentally-unhealthy person will "kick it up a notch" hoping that you'll give up your boundary. I held firm.
Please don't be turned off by the fact that this blog post is written by a woman, has "divorce" in the blog title, and refers to "emotional abuse." I think it presents very good suggestions for anyone in a difficult relationship, whether man or woman; person with ADHD or not; considering divorce or not.
http://www.womansdivorce.com/emotionally-abusive-relationships.html
What do they say.....only a fool represent themselves in a court of law? That's what happened this morning and this is my conclusion. I'm a fool to engage my wife at all when she opens with....I want to talk. Bullshit! You want to debate in legal court with you being the prosecuting attorney and me being the defendant. "Nice shoot'in soldier but two can play at that game". (This is an informative vent on how not to talk to your spouse unless you want to piss them off......first objection.....BADGERING THE WITNESS!!
soo finally posting after reading lots and lots of posts :) sleeping out on the couch tonight due to a massive fight I've had with my adhd partner. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been with him for 4 years, engaged and have a 6 month old baby. When we first got together it was a joke that he was always loosing everything but after 4 years it's just not funny. He hasn't been on medication and has got his appt to sort it out in another 4 weeks, mind you I have been asking him to sort it out for the last 2 years.
For the past two days I have been so blah. I have been crying at the drop of a dime and feeling like crawling into a hole, not speaking to anyone or going out. I have been irritable and trying not to take it out on my ADHD husband because he has done nothing wrong, just what people with ADHD do. The truth is that I am accepting the reality that even though he is reading books on his new diagnosis and taking 20 herbal pills, vitamins and minerals a day and changing his diet, he may never be able to be the husband that I need or want.
Hi all, I am looking for responses of ADHD and non-ADHD spouses. W/O a lot of detail let me just say that my husband has a very big tendency to forget things and an even bigger one to lie about it to cover it up. EXCEPT the lies never make sense so it's normally quite apparent to me that he is not being honest. After our usual weekly blow-up (I know, this can't be healthy, right?) he says that I push him too hard.
In my endless quest to accept DH and the way he ACTUALLY is, not the way I WISH him to be, I have been thinking a lot about the stuff that makes me happy and trying to do those things more often. Plus the fact that he travels Monday through Friday means I have a lot of time to do things on my own.
Based on what little I've read, there are more men with ADHD than women. I guess that makes me a minority, any other men out there? I am really struggling. I have been married for almost 11 years, have a stepdaughter and two sons. We went to counseling last summer because I had threatened to leave if our non-existent, no wait, we did it three times in 2013 (and yes, I kept track!), sex life didn't improve. At the first session, we were talking through some issues and counselor says to my wife, "Have you been tested for ADD?" So there goes anything I was hoping to gain from counseling
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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