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Hello Everyone:

I am so happy to have found this forum. I've been reading it for a few weeks now and feel amazed at the bravery and honesty of what I've been reading.

I'm writing because I just asked my H to leave today. I packed up his belongings and told him to call his parents to pick him up. He's gone now. The house is quiet - and I feel sad - but happy. 

I have learned this:

When dh is not doing what is expected, let's say it is to sign a tax form that needs his signature, I must say, "Here is the 2015 personal tax form.  Sign here please."  Look him in the eye and hand him a pen and the form.

I don't say, "The tax form is on the kitchen counter, will you sign them please so they can get in the mail?"

I don't say, "When will you sign the tax forms? They have been on the counter for 5 days."

I don't say, "Let's do the taxes together.  What day would you be available to that with me?"

I was diagnosed with ADHD (both types) about three years ago. My doctor (primary care) didn't think I needed any kind of medication because I wasn't having trouble at work and had successful coping skills as a child/teen. That's not exactly true--I've been called to task before at work for being distracted by things like the Internet or my phone. But generally I put out good work because it's something I enjoy. I wasn't diagnosed as a child because back then I don't even think doctors knew about ADHD.

I've spent 2 years constantly fighting my ADHD husbands false accusations of mental illness. Beyond just yelling "You're crazy!" as soon as I express a concern or pain I've been caused by H's actions and behaviors. Here is the pattern:

Husband behaves outside of the scope of a reasonable person and or crosses boundaries.

Wife is hurt by the action and states that she feels (insert emotion) when H does (insert action).

H bristles. He denies the action even if you or anyone else bore wittiness.

I just would like to start off my saying I want to break down and cry over finding this forum. For the last year that I have been living with my girlfriend I have so much resentment in me because I feel as though I have bent over backwards for her. I thought ADHD was just a ton of extra energy. I feel so naive. I had no idea what that really meant. Now I live with my girlfriend and her son that are both ADHD neither one is taking medication or getting help. My girlfriend has medication but she tries not to take it because its medical medicine and she tries to stay away from that.

I just need to rant or I'll scream and I'm not in a place to do that!

So ADHD H is still obsessed with his ex. He states he hates her and I'm sure he does but he also talks about her everyday, seriously! He also goes on and on about how hot and perfect she was/is. I've heard way more details about this woman than I care to and H has compared me to her for 2 years and she often ends up the better of the 2 of us. UGH!

Came home from taking my son to his Dr appointment. H was waiting at home and asked where I had been. As most the non’s here will understand this, I had told him and reminded him of the apt several times (several times that day even). But of course he forgot so I explained again where I was.

Father’s day is just around the corner and its a few days before H’s 44th birthday.

Before H, I really enjoyed doing special things for the people I love on their special day, and loads of days in between.  But, last year H had one of his rage sessions and forbidden me to ever acknowledge his birthday again.

Actually, I think a better title for this is "Why didn't you not marry X, given that you're so unhappy with X now?"

I married my H because I was young, idealistic, and stupid.  Being idealistic and not a fortune-teller, I didn't know that the following things would happen after we got married.  If these things had happened before we got married, I hope I would have been brave enough to not follow through with getting married.

H cheated on our taxes one year.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. When I met him (he's 30), he was taking big dosages of Ritalin, which made him act a bit detached and zomby-like. I noticed that when he wasn't on medication, he was still very focused, able to concentrate on details etc. I thought that he should not take the meds, and his doctor stopped prescribing them anyway. However, after a year and a half that we've been living in a small apartment and we both have jobs that can be mostly done from home, I realized that we talk all day long.