How do you let what you have no control over effect you? If you live with a partner whom you share very little commonality with, you probably already know the answer to my question. Or, do you? Blindness is what I suffered with...She is wrong, I am right.
My husband's job for the past almost four years has been as caregiver for his elderly parents. It began as a four-days per week gig; now he's there full time. Since starting this arrangement, my husband has almost never called when he is at his parents. (I'd estimate that he has called fewer than 20 times in the four years.) HIs mom's health has been deteriorating quite a bit this winter. I encouraged my husband to get his mom to the doctor (she hadn't even been outside the house n 8 months) to find out what was wrong with her, including whether she'd be eligible for hospice care.
Ok im going to try to keep this brief.
I don't know if this is an ADHD issue or what. But you all have experience that I don't have, so I'm hoping you have some advice.
my ADHD boyfriend and I just got into a fight. He seems to think its ok for couples to curse at each other. Jokingly, angrily, whatever. But if I get angry and accidentally curse at him, which I immediately regret, he's SO offended and SO hung up on it.
I posted my story in another thread and keep coming here looking for help and answers. I am not seeing much in the way of hope, or happy endings. Is anyone aware of marriages that make it back to happy? I am so scared right now that it's not possible.
These are my stories too. My husband must have ADHD. For 30, yes thirty, years, I have lived with a man who has lost job after job and can't explain why. We are currently suffering financially because his job situation just continues to get worse due to his lack of focus and organization. He can't carry out simple tasks because he gets distracted doing others. He never remembers anything I tell him and it makes me feel like he just doesn't care. In the beginning of our marraige, he was so focused on me but lost that focus and now we barely communicate.
I'd like to know how many other people with spouses who have ADHD, have this issue: Work vs. them ONLY doing things they "want" to do......and even combining the two. I'll use an example. My husband has hyperactive ADHD, and I also believe there are co-morbid conditions, but not sure which ones yet. He's always been on the go......nonstop......even when he's "WORKING". BUT, most of his "work" (the work he does in his office at home) is stuff he invents and "makes up" to do. It's not work that MUST be done.
Our kids avoid their dad as much as they can. H knows this and blames me.
Our kids have repeatedly told him, "our opinions about you are based on what we've witnessed and experienced". But H won't accept that. He wants to believe that I "turned the kids against him."
The kids can rattle off dozens and dozens of stories where their dad behaved horribly, embarrassed them, or was cruel to me. But, H won't accept that.
He still blames me.
I sent H a text around 2PM. Just a silly little text. He always responds in some way to those even if it's a smiley face emoticon. I got nothing. I figure he either hadn't looked at his phone (very doubtful) left it at work (possible) or is pissed about something (probable). I know the kittens were being annoying the night before and running around the house keeping us awake so I figured he's probably really tired. I got home at 5PM and he was in the bedroom. Less than a minute after I get home, he comes storming out of the bedroom right past me and says "How the HELL are you"?
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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