Recent forum posts (all topics)

What do you wish you knew before you married?

Forum: 

I am not married and I hope it's ok to ask this question here.  I've been dating someone about 6 months and things are wonderful.  She shared that she has ADHD/ADD so I am trying to understand how that might impact our relationship.  What advice/resources might you share with a newbie to this world?

For the ADD'er who accepts it and works on it

So, my ex is ADD (inattentive). He won't accept it, nor do anything to improve his symptoms. In fact, just the opposite. He drives me insane, even though he has one of the biggest hearts. There is no hope for reconciliation, and his ADD and other issues have left me scarred. 

With that said, the only man I am interested in right now is ADD. He accepts it, jokes about it, takes meds for it, and has put things in place to help manage it. I am scared to death of his ADD, but I am giving him a chance. 

Young couple with ADHD wife!!

<p>I don&#39;t know what to do! I can NEVER have a chill/calm moment or event with my wife!! She&#39;s always tense and bitchy!! What the hell do I do!? We&#39;ve been married for a year and a half and I&#39;m only 23! I have no idea how to handle her. When we first met she was taking something for it and I had no clue about ADHD! Roller coaster ride for sure!! HELP!?!</p>

New here

Hi I'm new. I'm 40, dh is 44. We've been married for 15 years. We have 2 sons, 11 and 4. The first 3 years of marriage were bliss. Since then it's been a roller coaster. We separated for a year about 8 years into the marriage after (and during) his torrid affair with a coworker. The newness wore off and we got back together. One great year, we got unexpectedly pregnant and it's been downhill since. Dh lost job 4 years ago and hasn't had a real job since then.    

 

How to avoid arguments or argue in a more healthy fashion

I am new to this site. I have read lots of comments about the non ADHD partner getting negative and angry but in my case it is my ADHD partner who gets angry - does anyone have top tips for dealing with this and arguing healthily - most of the time my partner is calm and loving but at some point every few days there is a row - I feel I can not win - I try to be quiet and avoid confrontations but don't want to loose me-he says he wants to know my honest view but if I don't agree he gets cross and if I do agree he says I need to be honest.

My H wanted me to see a therapist, now he's upset!

I went to a therapist a couple of years ago, and then stopped.  Since then, H has regularly complained that I need to return (to work on "my" issues...lol).  One reason I stopped going was because my T didn't feel that there was anything wrong with me, except that I needed TO DO LESS for my H!  (which of course, he wouldn't like to have happen!!)

 

Where does all the Guilt and Shame come from?

Guilt and Shame seem to be the common denominators to much of issues and reactions. Where is it coming from? What is the genesis? I suspect that those with ADHD (either inattentive, impulsive or combo) have had a life-long history of having "normal" folks commenting and correcting them. I think from a young age they have had to listen to people say, "why did you do that"? or "what were you thinking" or "you need to pay attention" or "you broke that because you weren't careful," and so forth and so forth. Is that where it all started?

How to cope when your spouse is on a rage?

H has been so good over the past few months. Never angry, always going to work. This Monday I came home and he was obviously upset about something as he was very terse with me. I knew something was wrong within 30 seconds of walking through the door just by the way he spoke to me. I'm 99.9% sure it's work. He didn't say anything to me about why he was upset that night.  The next day he went to work and came home 2 hours later. I see he texted his manager that he didn't feel well and threw up twice. I hardly think so. I think he was frustrated with his coworkers.

First time here am I being unreasonable ? Marriage will not last if he can't change please help!

I have been married for over 17 years we have three kids, he is the love of my life. When we were dating I noticed a pattern of lies, money issues, and rage issues (road rage ) . I must go back several years for this to make sense. My husband had had 7 (yes 7) failed busineses. For the first several years we lived with my parents, during that time he had an emotional affair with a woman for 2 years I begged for him to stop, tried to tell him how he was ruining our marriage. All night phone conversations , phone sex, lies with her contributed to my feelings.

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