Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi I'm new. I'm 40, dh is 44. We've been married for 15 years. We have 2 sons, 11 and 4. The first 3 years of marriage were bliss. Since then it's been a roller coaster. We separated for a year about 8 years into the marriage after (and during) his torrid affair with a coworker. The newness wore off and we got back together. One great year, we got unexpectedly pregnant and it's been downhill since. Dh lost job 4 years ago and hasn't had a real job since then.    

 

I am new to this site. I have read lots of comments about the non ADHD partner getting negative and angry but in my case it is my ADHD partner who gets angry - does anyone have top tips for dealing with this and arguing healthily - most of the time my partner is calm and loving but at some point every few days there is a row - I feel I can not win - I try to be quiet and avoid confrontations but don't want to loose me-he says he wants to know my honest view but if I don't agree he gets cross and if I do agree he says I need to be honest.

I went to a therapist a couple of years ago, and then stopped.  Since then, H has regularly complained that I need to return (to work on "my" issues...lol).  One reason I stopped going was because my T didn't feel that there was anything wrong with me, except that I needed TO DO LESS for my H!  (which of course, he wouldn't like to have happen!!)

 

He says that I have changed... I know I have changed, but only because I do not trust a single word that comes out of his mouth!

Guilt and Shame seem to be the common denominators to much of issues and reactions. Where is it coming from? What is the genesis? I suspect that those with ADHD (either inattentive, impulsive or combo) have had a life-long history of having "normal" folks commenting and correcting them. I think from a young age they have had to listen to people say, "why did you do that"? or "what were you thinking" or "you need to pay attention" or "you broke that because you weren't careful," and so forth and so forth. Is that where it all started?

I have been married for over 17 years we have three kids, he is the love of my life. When we were dating I noticed a pattern of lies, money issues, and rage issues (road rage ) . I must go back several years for this to make sense. My husband had had 7 (yes 7) failed busineses. For the first several years we lived with my parents, during that time he had an emotional affair with a woman for 2 years I begged for him to stop, tried to tell him how he was ruining our marriage. All night phone conversations , phone sex, lies with her contributed to my feelings.

Hi!  I'm new here, and while I have learned A LOT so far (the books have helped me to feel like I was able to decode a language I couldn't speak before), I am stuck in trying to decide what to do.  I apologize in advance for the length of this post - believe it or not, it's the short version!  Lol

       I know that people with ADHD are prone to depression, but it's something I've never put "together" with my own husband's ADHD. But he DOES have depression, and sometimes absolutely nothing gets him out of it.   I've started logging just WHEN he gets his rounds of depression. They seem to hit him about every 6 to 8 weeks, and it lasts about a week to 10 days. QUESTION:   Is this a "usual" pattern for ADHD'ers? Do they have repetitive BOUTS of depression, or is there depression most of the time?