Recent forum posts (all topics)

Can we talk?

My DH has ADHD and I have no sexual desire in our relationship at all. I feel like I am married to an adolescent. I've been carrying us for years, and he hasn't had a job since April. His ADHD is quite severe, and so he literally doesn't notice things - barbecue sauce on the hardwood floor, unlocked car (we've had 3 cameras and a Macbook Pro stolen out of his car), dirty baby diaper left on the floor...it's exhausting. And while a lot of the time, I'm too tired to want sex, the rest of the time, I'm not sexually attracted to him. I feel the exact opposite of cherished.

After 5 years, I have a step by step plan in place to coincide with getting my college degree in December 2015.  There are many parameters that will need adjusting as time passes - as no one knows what tomorrow will actually bring.  

Yes it is a one year plan.   It is not my dream plan, it is my looking-reality-squarely-in-the-face-plan.

After reading so many stories of unhappy, angry, depressed, disillusioned spouses who are still with their ADHD partner I can't help but wonder why do you stay? Why not just leave and start over? Is it money, fear, your vows, the children, or that deep inside you still have hope things will change? How long have you been dealing with the ADHD issues, why have you stayed this long? Hope to understand why we hang on ...

Best2You

Dear Santa

I've been an awfully good girl for  nearly 55 years. I haven't been greedy. I have worked hard and have a good job. I have looked after my parents and raised a child. I have been (in the main) polite in the most taxing of circumstances.I have waited and waited for things to get better. I haven't asked for impossible things. I haven't expected impossible things.

However, just this once I am making a very special list for you.

I would like for Christmas:

- a visibility cloak    so that I can be seen

This year I found out I have ADD and I'm 99% positive my husband has ADHD. I understand our 15+ years together now more than ever. I don't have resentment, but I do not have hope that things will change with a simple request/nag from me for him to work on these things. He does not really believe in the disorder and denies having it, or says if he does his symptoms are under control (not true).

I found this forum this morning, after searching the internet for answers or for a hopeful discovery that I wasn't alone. My husband has severed ADHD and it's worn on my last nerve. The history and path of destruction is so long that I can't get into it in one post. Current history is that he is self employed, does a good job in his field, but scheduling, customer service, billing and basic living falls apart. I left my full time job to pick up the slack. He makes terrible decisions that have led us to financial ruin.

I think one of the most difficult things to come to terms with after a long term marriage affected by ADD ends is when the non-ADD spouse for years did so much alone, kids, house, etc, etc, etc but then it's the ADD spouse that leaves the marriage.  So many years of them saying it was me when it was really the ADD.  The loneliness is sometimes unbearable.  Over four years later and it still hurts every single day.  

Hi, I've been lurking here for almost 3 years, but this is my first time posting. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but his parents didn't pursue any treatment. He is now in his late 40s and was re-diagnosed in 2012. He has sporadically pursued treatment since then, but that only happens when I tell him that I just can't taking living with him and that I want a divorce. This last time, I reinforced my words with actions: I've moved into the guest room, separated our bank accounts, and informed him that I plan to file for a no-fault divorce in 18 months.