Recent forum posts (all topics)

Blamed for ADD husband's behavior.

Does anyone else ever get treated as though they are their ADD spouse's mother?  Like friends and family commenting that "you should really make [hubby] eat better," "you should really tell [hubby] to lighten up," "it's really not good for [hubby] to leave his car such a mess, haven't you told him to clean his trash?"  You get the idea; being held accountable for the actions of another adult, as though he is a child you should just be able to make "behave," as though you are not already aware of and distressed by all of these noted deficiencies.  As though you have not TRIED, futilely, to i

Changing Your Self Talk and Setting Boundaries

Discoveries about my ADHD as they apply to me.  This is my new self talk, not my conscience feelings or how I respond to others directly.  It is most decidedly one sided, judgmental and highly opinionated.  It has to be for me to counter the old self talk which focused only on what was wrong with me and believing my problems with others were 100% me, not anyone else.  It also addresses some real life issues that I have encountered with some real life people in my life.  I also find it interesting how from this old self talk, the words coming out of my mouth were closer to ,"this is all abou

Husband insists on buying a stick shift and now I'm stuck with a car I can't drive!!

Up until last summer, we really only needed one car. I either worked from home or our work schedules were such that we could use the same car or he'd take his motorcycle. Well I got a full time job in August and we worked basically both the same hours and he couldn't take the motorcycle in crappy weather so we bought a used car in October. DH insisted the entire time that we would get a stick shift car. I have no idea why he insisted on that since I have never driven one, but he said we were definitely getting one.

ADHD cause of abusive behavior?

My first time ever reaching out for help. To make a long story short I've been married four years to my husband who has ADHD. He is taking a generic form of Adderall. So it wasn't until after we were married that he started getting so out if control angry. This anger turned into abuse, physical and emotional. I don't want to go into detail about me because this isn't about me, suffice it to say I've had my share of bruises and cuts. I've tried learning more what sets him off but now it seems most anything will. Yesterday we were driving and a dog ran right out in front of us.

Crazy thinking and blaming

Dh is going around slamming things.  I used to actually believe that I did or said or was something wrong.  Now, I am not taking it personally anymore.  If he has a problem with me, he will have to talk to me and face to face tell me what is the matter. I will stop guessing that I am to blame.  Since it has been his habit to not talk about anything except jokes and silliness, I used to try to guess what he hated about me that he was acting so rudely.  Tonight, I am going to assume something different.  I am going to assume that he is just plain frustrated.

About to give husband an ultimatum to get help and counselling - could use suggestions and advice from others' experiences

I posted earlier on here about my husband not being interested in parenting tasks.  I've been to a therapist for myself and recently went to one for my 3 year old son.  Both therapists told me that my husband and I need marital counselling at the very least for things to improve, and that he desperately needs individual counselling (of big concern to them both is his impatience, such as not letting the 3 year old use the potty and not sitting through family meals).  My husband has refused to go to marriage counselling when I had brought it up a few times over the past months.  My 3 year old

Wonderful Resources

I wanted to say, "Thank you!" to Mrs. Orlov and Dr. Hallowell for creating, moderating, and curating this informative forum. I recently started dating a guy and he admitted to having ADHD. I came from a well-educated family and upbringing and so I know what ADHD is and what it isn't. With that regard, his ADHD hasn't scared me away. Because I am aware of the symptoms and expressed behavior of ADHD, I started "suggesting" guidelines for how we should communicate and made a detailed outline of our forthcoming date in West Hollywood.

Dealing with Junk

I don't know if I'm asking for tips or just venting.  My husband and I live apart these days but it seems that I keep finding things that are evidence of his disorderly approach to life.  The latest was my discovery in the basement today:  a futon (that I knew was there), the surface of which contained a large area of  mold or mildew (that I hadn't known was there).  The basement mess and junk, none of which is mine, bother me so much that I almost start to hyperventilate when I go down there.

help me with the pain of my eyes being opened

Ive been reading this website since I was diagnosed with ADHD and began medication after a lifetime of asking myself "what the hell is wrong with you bill?". The blinders coming off in a rush of selfrealization and the pain, sorrow, and anger directed at myself at times feels overwhelming. I try to cope and I cry a lot. They are real tears though...ive never felt these before. First a little background on my history and my current situation I am currently seperated from my beautiful wife and our 4 children because of this disease and its toll it took on them.

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