Recent forum posts (all topics)

New to being here and I don't even know if I qualify. I love my husband. But I'm frustrated. When we met he said he liked that I worked and that I'm responsible.  He told me he just got hired at a good job. So he quit the current job and took a couple weeks off before starting his new job. I thought that's understandable. Little did I know, until now years later, that this is a pattern with him. Many jobs and years later here I am, frustrated and scared. He really did finally get a good job and at first he was over the moon and happy. Then the pattern started once again.

Hi everyone.  I was recently dumped, for lack of a better word, by my ADHD partner of 9 years.  He denied there being another woman involved, but I am becoming more and more suspicious and paranoid that there is. 

So I guess the spiteful, spurned side of me wants to hope that his future relationships will fail too...that he won't find the happiness that was denied to me.

What is your experience with this?  Did your ADHD spouse have a successful relationship with his mistress or future partners?   

Being in a relationship with someone with untreated ADHD has been compared to being in a relationship with an alcoholic, where the non-addict spouse almost inevitably becomes somewhat codependent. The codependent non-addict spouse falls into a pattern of "enabling" the addict by rescuing them, by cleaning up after them, by picking up the slack etc.  Because of this enabling behavior the addict doesn't have to face the consequences of his own actions, and therefore is never motivated to change his behavior. 

Whither EMPATHY?

Dear Melissa & Ned,i

It seems to me that the crucial first step to be able to communicating in a 'validating' manner, is to put oneself in the other's shoes for the moment, even if it is a close relationship like with your spouse.  And, this needs to occur in both partners.

Just before we found out that my Husband was diagnosed with ADHD we decided that it was a mutual goal of ours to buy a house by the end of this year. Now that we know he has ADHD, I'm contemplating whether or not buying a house is a good decision for us. I know it's a huge responsibility and a huge commitment. If I don't feel like I can rely on him or trust him to get things done at all (like now), I can see it being a big potential problem down the road. I also know that it would likely mean more responsibility for me and I already feel very overwhelmed.

My Husband was diagnosed just a few weeks ago with ADHD (the combined type) and he is 33 years old. It seems very severe. In fact, the doctor told us that it wasn't even questionable whether or not he has ADHD since he scored a 105 out of a possible 120 based on the questions he answered. We're looking into him getting on medication, but it seems to be taking awhile for us to get a doctor's appointment especially cuz we had to find one that was affordable enough for us. I am also really concerned about the costs of the medication.

ive been married for 20 years. we had a period of separation when she had to go work abroad. during that time i seem to have drifted away from her not just because of the distance but with little things as well. i got into a secret relationship and when my wife came back she seems to know that something is afoot. i lied when confronted about it and in turn put my secret relationship on the rocks to the point that i called it off. now i dont know what to do. i feel that i love and miss the girl in my secret relationship more than my wife.

The subject line pretty much says it all.  I am wondering if treatment, particularly medication, can help cure a video game addiction in someone with ADD.  I feel like the only cure for anything like this is hitting rock bottom, so I am not optimistic, but I am wondering if anyone has noticed any changes one way or another regarding video game addiction after starting medication.

This is my first time posting to this website, I have never reached out to other people online for answers but feel sort of desperate. My husband has ADD and was diagnosed about a year and a half into being married, we have been married now for 2 years and 8 months. Just over a year into our marriage he told me that he had been thinking about divorce, that he wasn't sure that we were meant to be together and I was completely shocked. I loved my husband so much and divorce had never even crossed my mind.

I'm curious to know if anyone else has participated in 12-steps programs related to or helpful to ADHD?