Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband received his diagnosis this week, and him and my son have taken off to visit his mother for the weekend. As I do research and read read read I'm having floods of realizations wash over me, it all makes sense. One of the things that I've felt so strongly for so long (we've been together for 10 years) is a strong sense of loneliness, and as though he never truly engages me in conversation, or is capable of empathy.

When my spouse first asked me on a date 32 years ago, I was in awe.  I could not believe he wanted to take me out.  He was tall, blue eyed, and handsome.  I was shy, awkward, and disliked myself intensely.  Our first date was to an expensive dinner theatre.  On the way, he talked about his life.  He was engaged to someone else - but not FORMALLY, as in 'no ring yet' - and he wanted to make some new friends (That was me - the new friend.)

He said - she said.  To this day he insists he never said the word engaged. 

I have been dating someone with ADD for about 6 months. At first it was amazing, and I couldn’t imagine why anyone would have hesitations about dating someone with ADHD. My family was dismayed about how much time we seemed to be spending together and how fast the relationship seemed to be moving.

About 3 months ago he started going to school full time – in addition to his full time job, his part time job and his myriad of other hobbies. In that time, I feel like our relationship has gone from a whirlwind fairy tale to seriously stressed.

I have recently made the decision to leave my ADHD Husband because I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted after nearly 4 years together (2 1/2 married). From the very beginning I never felt like we had a true partnership or a courtship. We rushed into moving in together and we rushed into marriage which hurt our relationship a lot. My Husband was only diagnosed with ADHD about 3 months ago, but the problems caused by his symptoms have been present for our entire relationship.

My mom said "I'm not sure if this is the 'real' him that you never knew, or if this is a manifestation of the difficult situation he is in. Either way, it does not excuse poor behavior." 

The poor behavior is my bf under-appreciating me, making excuses for not trying to meet my needs, and being condescending to me. I am trying to figure out if this is part of his personality or a defense mechanism for the ADHD thought-process.

Original post deleted out of guilt and frustration.

I'm feeling a lot of grief right now.  My husband, who has diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, and depression, did something that exposed me to legal liability.  If the injured party chooses to pursue me, I could end up paying thousands of dollars in damages and might be subject to discipline by my state's lawyer regulatory agency.  Because I have no way of preventing my husband from engaging in further behavior of this type (or other illegal or negligent acts), the only way I have to protect myself and my livelihood is to get a divorce and forbid my husband from being in our house.

We dated for one and half year. My boyfriend (actually ex-boyfriend now) told me he had ADHD in the first a couple of months we started dating. He is sweet, respectful and thoughtful most of time. He has a good job and works hard. But the same as other ADDers, he is not very patient and easy to get irritated. He is forgetful and has a lot of sporadic thoughts. Though I got frustrated with this relationship sometimes, I try not to take his acts personally, and try to communicate. I would say I enjoyed most of time with him.

 I thought I could help my husband be someone better than he was. I thought that was being supportive. And I thought he would appreciate that. He may have even asked me to help him do that. Now I think he hates me for trying to do that. I would hate it if someone put their focus on me, to better me.  The fact is....he gets to be who he is and who he wants to be.  I get to be who I am and who I want to be.  I have stopped trying to help him be different.  It might mean we have nothing left....but I must stop focusing on him and get on with a life that I can be proud of myself.

My spouse is prescribed  Adderall to help address his negative ADHD characteristics.  He takes the generic form -  D-Amphetamine Salt Combo, 20 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the afternoon.   As I understand it, the main reason he chooses the generic form is he does not want to spend money on medication.  In his view, Adderall-XR is too expensive.  He has taken this medication for over a year, probably at least 2 years.  Day in, day out.