Recent forum posts (all topics)

Original post deleted out of guilt and frustration.

I'm feeling a lot of grief right now.  My husband, who has diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, and depression, did something that exposed me to legal liability.  If the injured party chooses to pursue me, I could end up paying thousands of dollars in damages and might be subject to discipline by my state's lawyer regulatory agency.  Because I have no way of preventing my husband from engaging in further behavior of this type (or other illegal or negligent acts), the only way I have to protect myself and my livelihood is to get a divorce and forbid my husband from being in our house.

We dated for one and half year. My boyfriend (actually ex-boyfriend now) told me he had ADHD in the first a couple of months we started dating. He is sweet, respectful and thoughtful most of time. He has a good job and works hard. But the same as other ADDers, he is not very patient and easy to get irritated. He is forgetful and has a lot of sporadic thoughts. Though I got frustrated with this relationship sometimes, I try not to take his acts personally, and try to communicate. I would say I enjoyed most of time with him.

 I thought I could help my husband be someone better than he was. I thought that was being supportive. And I thought he would appreciate that. He may have even asked me to help him do that. Now I think he hates me for trying to do that. I would hate it if someone put their focus on me, to better me.  The fact is....he gets to be who he is and who he wants to be.  I get to be who I am and who I want to be.  I have stopped trying to help him be different.  It might mean we have nothing left....but I must stop focusing on him and get on with a life that I can be proud of myself.

My spouse is prescribed  Adderall to help address his negative ADHD characteristics.  He takes the generic form -  D-Amphetamine Salt Combo, 20 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the afternoon.   As I understand it, the main reason he chooses the generic form is he does not want to spend money on medication.  In his view, Adderall-XR is too expensive.  He has taken this medication for over a year, probably at least 2 years.  Day in, day out.

My husband illegally downloaded material from the Internet while he was at our house over the weekend.  (He mostly lives with his parents, for whom he provides caregiving services, now.)  I received a warning letter from our Internet provider. I'm extremely upset.  Is there any way I can keep him from doing this in the future, short of preventing him from bringing his computer into the house when he is here?  Thank you.  

I had suspected my DH had ADHD for months.  We were seeing a therapist for one of our children for another reason and so was able to discuss one-on-one with him.  He agreed to do the eval on my DH and ended up diagnosing DH with ADHD - PI.  However, he said DH only needs meds - no therapy.  WHAT!?!?!?  The shocker was when he told me that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits and I need months of therapy.  

Of course, when I read what the traits are, I think anyone living with a spouse with unmanaged ADHD would exhibit these traits/thoughts:

I just recently became aware of ADHD being the likely contributor to much hurt and pain in my life. I have joked for a long time about having ADD/ADHD not ever really taking it seriously or realizing how many aspects of one life it can effect. I have recently come to realize how much it encompasses. I have often fought with my wife over things in the house not getting done or forgetting to do things. I have honestly wanted to improve but the improvement is slow to come or neglect or forgotten about soon.

 Does anyone know if women are more willing to work with their ADHD than men? (not ALL, just a greater number) It seems like some of the wives with ADHD are more willing to work with their ADHD, than it is the men (husbands) with ADHD. (again not ALL, but maybe more) I've read that some of the wives even become more like the non-ADHD spouse in  a double ADHD marriage. Is there a reason for this? or is this a possibility?

My husband, ADHD, no meds because he refuses to follow up on doctors appointments, has been unemployed most of the 22 years we have been together. Its always someone else's fault. At this point I have given up on him ever contributing, I make good money and he does a little housework. He is addicted to shopping and collecting and the entire bottom half of our house is filled with his stuff. There is no talking to him, I have tried that. I don't know what to do, I have resigned myself to the fact that he is my burden to carry.