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I'm really struggling with something here folks, and I hope there is someone out there who can provide a little clarification. My wife was diagnosed 3 years ago with ADD, after struggling with depression for 10 years before that. I was excited, and, believe it or not, happy to finally have a diagnosis, and a course of treatment that I thought, by all indications and suggestions by her doctor and many other ADD experts, would improve her condition and the quality of our life.

After one of these grueling arguments/discussion, I really wish I had it recorded, so I could have someone else look at with non-bias towards my ADHD spouse nor I, and tell me if I am missing something.

I have been dating my now fiance for almost 3 years now. It has been some road, let me tell you! During that time we have argued, more about him being impulsive, and unable to save money. His diagnosis came 3 months ago, when I pretty much said,"if you dont go and talk to a professional, I am out the f***ing door." He went. The diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks. I was upset that I didnt force him to seek help sooner. I was upset that his parents never questioned it for him to have been diagnosed sooner.

Well, maybe this should be in progress and hope, but he has given me permission to go home. We are transferring bills to his name next week, and I am separating my insurance and phone from his.

I'm so relieved:) I can't wait to get home and lay on the white sand beaches for hours:) I can't wait to see my friends!!

I plan to leave next weekend:)

Thanks for everyone's help-a year later realizing this is searchable via google and able to be read without logging in, I have deleted the orginal text.

 

Even through this turmoil, I have continued to cook nightly meals. That stops starting tomorrow. I spent an hour making Irish potato cakes with garlic mushroom and onions. He commented on how good it smells. Right after I'm done cooking, he announces that his friend is taking him out to eat. When I mentioned the dinner I cooked, he says he'll eat it later. No he won't. I'm throwing it in the trash. I'll only cook for me and my son from now on. 

I am a non-ADHD spouse trying to understand and support my ADHD husband. I understand that ADHDers find it hard to do a task unless it is interesting, challenging, or urgent. I have also heard it described as “they can’t” get started until the task becomes one of these three things. Question: How literal is the word “can’t”? How is a spouse to know when an ADHD spouse is unable to accomplish a task and what is to be done about it?

I'm dating a guy who is 24 and has Adhd. Its been 3 months now. Things are good, but sometimes things can get soooooo confusing and annoying. I am very frustrated because he works so much and lives 30 minuets away from me and we hardly have time to see each other... but even though we don't see each other a lot, when we do its great. we only see each other once every two weeks cause he has so many responsibilities. He tells me how much he wishes he could spend more time with me...

Guilt is hard for me to deal with. 

I can change how I do things: start again to mother my ADHD spouse, yield to his demands, and revert to my old behaviors knowing full well the result will be  peace in the kingdom for him.  But the cost to me?  Oiy.  It will look good from the outside.  Unfortunately, the princess will then be sad. I just cannot do it.

So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, I know it's short comparing to some of the other posts I've read... I just need some advice, support or something. We are both young adults, he still a student. I'm a junior accountant, so I cannot be forgetful, de-organized and I cannot afford to loose focus. He on the other hand, is forgetful, inconsiderate and just plain neverminded.