Recent forum posts (all topics)

we have 2 kids, age 4 and 2 and are working on our marriage but after having read a lot of this site, I'm thinking that hope for a normal life is pretty much off the table. I really want another child but I feel like I would be choosing between having another child or preserving my marriage. Even if we are done having kids, there still aren't any guarantees , but I feel like having a third would put a lot of stress on me and our marriage and isn't worth it. It's a sad realization, actually. DH is on add meds and has been for years but still suffers many of the symptoms related to it.

I am not even sure where to start.  There is so much going on with my wife and me, but I am not sure I could get it all down in a logical way, so will start with the bare facts.

I am not sure if I am angry anymore.  I am so exhausted from this relationship that I do not even have the capability of being angry anymore.

I am trying to understand my wife's challenges with procrastination. She has recently been diagnosed with "non-traditional" ADD inattentive type. I think the diagnosis is vague because the therapist may see other issues. The thing that is puzzling to me is that she will not procrastinate if the task she has to do involves something that will result in people outside of our family (myself and two young boys) seeing or perhaps judging her. If someone has ADD, surely the procrastination occurs in both places - within the family and outside it.

I finally got my husband to agree to seeing a psychiatrist. We live in France and I went through so many hoops to get us there - translating letters from French to English you name it. It has been truly awful. Despite a history of ADD-like problems at school, work and in previous relationships my husband managed to convince the psychiatrist that I'm the problem. My nagging and constant monitoring apparently puts him under so much stress that he forgets stuff and gets distracted etc.

My spouse is hurting.  He is the place I want to sweep in and fix - because I really do have that power.  Bent.  Yield.  Change my mind.  

He is crying over the money we have spent on counseling over the past 29 years.

He is crying and shaking over the physical connection he has put between his deceased parents and the RV we purchased with some of the $$ he inherited when they passed.  He doesn't want to sell it - he doesn't want to share it - but he will not take the time off from work to use it, so it is slowly depreciating . . . . .and that makes it a thorn in MY side.

As a child, about the age of 8, I was diagnosed with ADHD.  I was given medication (Ritalin) and sent on my way. After being singled out every year of school after that-told I was LD and frequently embarrassed in class by the teacher, I decided to learn some strategies to help me concentrate in school. I started by marking the time on the clock on the wall and trying to attend to the teacher as long as I could while trying to absorb every single word and understand what she was saying. And when there was a pause, I would look up at the clock to see how long I was focused on her.

I wasn’t sure whether to post this as a vent or a story of hope – I’ve gone with hope – because as you will see I’m a bit of an optimist – but maybe I shouldn’t be!

Daily I think of the person I once was and the person I have now become inside of myself.  I can't believe how I have changed.  I used to be SUPER competent, happy inside, well-adjusted, good outlook, faith-filled.  I know about operant conditioning and feel that while dh has made some advances in his standard of living since we married and I have been a good influence on him, I have compromised myself into being LESS THAN I was because of my constant allowances and trying to understand him and be WITH him.  My focus today, and for the next year, is to heal myself.

I have been married for 18 yrs to an ADD spouse.  His ADD has gotten worse over the years.  The biggest things we struggle with are is general inattentiveness to the relationship, chronic lateness, clutter with all his belongings and inability to but anything where it belongs.  He seems incapable of seeing how these things negatively affect me and our household.  I'm always supposed to be the understanding wife.  I get very weary of it and stay stressed out much of the time.  It has gotten to the point that we are very testy with each other most of the time and always on the defensive.  It