Recent forum posts (all topics)

ADHD Spouse Refuses to Take Responsibility for Fights

I am a 25yo woman married to a man with ADD (he calls it ADD because he does not have the hyperactivity component). He was diagnosed as a child but did not start taking medication until college. We have been married for almost 2 years and our marriage is overall very happy. However, there is an issue in our relationship that has really taken a toll on both of us. Since I am new to this site, I am not sure if this problem has to do with ADD. So, I am wondering how much can be attributed to ADD and how much is my fault.

Dont think I can do it anymore

I havent been on here in a while but I think I am going to have to get out of this relationship.  My hurts are told to him again and again about every 3 months (because i am not seeing change) , and last night it all came out AGAIN.  I explained to him that the three things are 1. Lack of intimacy 2. He is not meeting his commitments for debt 3. he has not kept promises to me.

These three things by themselves would not be so bad but when they are all together concurrently, it is a big alarm bell for me and I am sad, hurt and scared. 

new to the blog

I know this isn't a new topic--I literally just stumbled upon this blog looking for help in a completely different area!  I'm completely ASTONISHED that I never before put the behaviors on the ADHD!  I've been with K for 6 years and ever since we moved in together I have wondered if I was in an abusive relationship.  He's a hard-core stoner as well, which as you can imagine may make him feel like he feels better, but it does nothing for our relationship.  We were supposed to get married this week and I called it off because the fighting from planning got ridiculous.  I'm so tired of feeling

We can't get blood from a turnip

Today I am sitting with my own life's reality.  Reading the posts here on this forum, knowing I am not the only one who has done what I did to keep my marriage.

What I have been fighting for close to 10 years is that inner voice that says, "I want out.  I want out out.  I want Out.  Get out.  Get out.  Get out.  My marriage is dead.  My marriage is dead.  My marriage is dead."

"I am fun. You MUST forgive me."

As I look at dh's family, I see the look of our relationship repeated in a few of the couples.  There is one spouse who is ALL personality, (verbose, profane, toilet humor) a lot of talk that consists of a lot of "putting down" others....political judgements, local gossip, and fiesty accusations ----- all in good fun, ha-ha. Jockying for attention with words, bravado and "in your face" bantering. There are stories of drunken partying and careless activities (even though there are children involved) that are reported with pride as in, "Look, no one is going to tell me how to behave.

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