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lost

Forum: 

I am lost and out of ideas.  I am a non-ADHD person married to a ADHD person.  We have been married for sixteen years.  I know he has not been faithful and went to file for divorce two years ago because of the children decided to go back with his promise of working on the marriage.  In front of the judge he called me dumb.  The working on the marriage has not happened.  So i am right back where i was before i left the house.  I have suffered from depression, low self-esteem, and believe on his part i am in the house to take care of the house and the children.  I purchased the book "The effe

Career Complications for my ADHD Spouse - What's the best way to support him?

My husband has been struggling with a career since I have known him. He has returned to school several times, explored dozen's of ideas, and is currently in school for a career option which we both believe will be a good fit. The trouble is, my husband struggles so much with school he doubts he will be able to finish. He is approaching his 40th birthday this fall and has yet to have a "real job" (i.e. career). I am so worried about him as he struggles with depression. He is absolutely brilliant but is unable to focus well enough to complete his assignments on time despite medication.

Advice On What to Say

So, tonight's the night we discuss if we will stay married or divorce. I have been telling him for a long time I am unhappy and exactly what I need from him. I am non-ADHD and my husband has ADHD. I have begged, pleaded, ignored, left him alone, acted normal, acted mad, acted sad...I have tried everything and nothing changes. He has been mad at me for 3 weeks and there is not a reason for it. I told him last night I am going to leave if he is not willing to participate in our marriage. He basically said ok. Then I said, if I leave, it will be for good. I am done with going back and forth.

How long?

To the non-ADHD spouses out there....how long do you usually wait to talk to your spouse after you have been yelled for the fourth time in as many days? I had to turn my cell phone off because of the amount of calls i was getting that sounded despondent and when i offer my advice i get yelled at in return. I was just tired of getting yelled at is all.

Who in the world am I anymore?

I have asked myself this but I dont think I was as serious as I am now. Im so sad. Im angry. Im frustrated. I can NEVER get my time that I have invested back. I can never get the trust or respect back from my kids that I have lost over the last 10 years and I still cant get out. How do you begin? My spouse has not been DX but through my own *stories* of events and his reactions (or lack there of) my therapist of 5 years has said shes willing to put $$$ that he has adhd and he is narcissist.

1st post - would love some advice

Hi all.  Forgive my just jumping in here, but I have been doing tons of reading here and have had a few "AHA!" moments that I think have helped clarify the last 2 weeks of my life, but would love some input into my own situation.

A week ago, my ADHD-diagnosed-but-undertreated [ex]-boyfriend announced that he wanted to breakup.  Entirely unexpected at the time, but in hindsight, I maybe saw it coming.

Here is my background (this is terribly long, for which I apologize - brevity is not my strong suit, especially when try to summarize a year of events...):

Eye contact

The  "H" for my husband is in his eyes. He has difficulty maintaining eye contact and seems to not be paying attention. I realize that for him to concentrate he has a hard time listening or talking while he's looking at someone. I recently realized that I don't feel like he's paying attention to me or really ever fully engaged. When he does make eye contact it feels much better to me, like I matter. We are wonderiG if anyone can offer some exercises for us to practice on having more eye contact or any suggestions on how to improve this?

New marriage, just foun out I'm ADD...is it normal to feel like my husband is too good for me bc of my problems?

Hi everyone!  I'm new to all this do bare with me.  My husband and I got married when I was 6 months pregnant. I know he loves me but even still any woman would have some small thoughts in the back of my head that if I hadn't of gotten pregnant then we would have never gotten married.  Even though my husband is the nicest, most kind hearted, caring man that I've ever met and he does his best to assure me that he would have never married me if he had any doubt.  I have always been very quick tempered, disorganized, constantly procrastinating, forgetful, and over all just scatter brained.

Starting a new marriage counselor .... What to ask

My husband (ADHD) and I ( nonADHD) are starting a new marriage counselor in a couple months.   This marriage therapist is assigned through the Veteran's Hospital where the doctors sometimes work in cycles between clinics... So our other counselor cycled out and shifted us to his boss's care.

We don't know if the old therapist or new one is "specialized" ( if that is the proper word) in ADHD or not.

 

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