Recent forum posts (all topics)

Anyone got a circus for me to join???  I have experience!!

You know I remember times when I would get home and just sit in my driveway because I didn't want to go in and deal with my husband.  There were moments and even weeks where I was so angry at him for letting me down and for not being the man I felt I deserved.  I resented him and anything that he did, no matter how small, was just another excuse for me to resent him more and put further blame on him for the decay of our marriage.  I would have panic attacks that I was going to find him "focusing" on yet another woman and giving her the attention that I felt that I deserved from him.  We wou

Hi there all - my husband has agreed to look into getting medication to treat his ADHD. This has been a long and rocky road and he's still dragging his feet about it.

I am a non-ADHD spouse who recently stumbled on this site while trying to find some information on ADHD.  I bought Melissa's book and so far have found it incredibly insightful, I am often surprised to see our exact issues staring back at us in print.  I was thrilled to find this site and to hear people's suggestions, to receive advice and encouragement, as I'm sure many of you know it is difficult to find someone who can really understand what it is like to be with an ADHD spouse.  I am saddened to say that I have found none of that here.  Everyone seems like they HATE their spouse who has

So...my wife had a pretty epic blow up at me this morning because of my inability to see the problems I am causing.  I get into this crazy cycle where I am doing okay with seeing a therapist and taking medication, but then inevitably I "fall off the wagon". i.e. start missing therapy appointments, stop taking medication and then the cycle starts all over again.  My question for the successful people is, how do I avoid this?  I am not even aware that I am doing it.  That's the main problem in my marriage is my lack of awareness.

This article basically describes me to the letter:

Dear Melissa, so much of what I read on this forum just looks like straight forward old fashioned marital abuse. The money issues, the anger, the violence, the witholding of affection, attention, sex, the abuse in fact. I have read a lot since I first came across this potential explanation for husband's awful behaviour - and the other explanation I have been given for the increasing difficulty of dealing with him is a narcissistic personality disorder (incurable) - they seem to share a lot of themes the two conditions, and yet one can be helped.

I parted from my husband of many years over a year ago because it became intolerable to live together due to his constant lapses of judgment, big and little one of which resulted in him seriously injuring himself. He was completely inconsistent when it came to any kind of responsibility, but what I could rely on was daily shocks - one very regular one being parking tickets which would arrive regularly in the post (he would not tell me when he had got them). Which I had to pay as he did not work in fact refused to earn a living.

I was told I could not have AdHD because my iq test was 82 I am a 62 year old female I had higher sorces on short term memory but I do not remember what catagory I had the 82 on. Is this likely?  

I drink to cope with my ADHD spouse.  If I were stronger, I would quit.  I am an alcoholic, though extremely high-functioning.  But the stress is too much for me.  I have a new job as a tenure track professor.  It is like being a first year teacher plus some extra stress.  I must work a lot and he takes care of the children and does not make me feel bad about working.  But right now I have 8 load of laundry to do.  The dishes have not been done in 2 weeks (parts are done but not all).  My daughters' carpets are a disgusting mess.  He does not do one educational thing for them all day long. 

Sooooo all the tests came back fine.  No cancer (or so they think), but they also cant find out what is screwing with his immune system and making him so sick all the time.  Two separate ear infections, bronchitis and a sinus infection all in the last month and a half?  Something has to be going on, in the six years we have been together he has been sick two times total before this!  I just about begged them to redo the blood sugar test (diabetes runs heavily in his family) and to test his vitamin/mineral levels in his blood and got told nope it cant be any of that.  REALLY?????