Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have a major issue developing where I have stopped an activity that has been my husband's interest for many years, and to which I have been expected to contribute, because it was just taking way too much money from our shared funds and I just didn't want to lose any more money at this stage of our lives - both nearly 60.  My husband has always considered this "investment" will fund his retirement but is a high-risk, low return endeavour and very few people actually make money from it.  This has been going on about 15 years and I've had enough as we have lost hundreds of thousands of dolla

My husband told me a long time ago that he is on the spectrum for ADHD, but never has done anything about it. 

I'm pretty sure my husband has ADHD. We've been together for 20 years, but sometimes I'm wanting to throw in the towel. He doesn't even realise it. 

I work full time because he was wanting to start his own business, I'm also full time at university and apart from that I have to deal with all the chores, bills etc.

I'm so tired all the time, but it's worse when he has an emotional outburst because he can't cope when the house isn't as tidy as he wants it to be and he doesn't seem to understand that I have a lot on my plate.

Hello to you all!  I am looking for some assistance coming up with a great name for a podcast and radio show I will be creating with fellow ADHD relationship expert, Susan Tschudi.  Something catchy, memorable and accurate in portraying that this show is for both members of a couple impacted by ADHD.

Hello everyone, I'm new here.  My name is Andy and I am actually a single man in a serious dating relationship.  The week between Christmas and new years, I stayed with my girlfriend's sister and her husband (and my girlfriend was there too).  I had a wonderful time, but after it was over, my girlfriend informed me that I was rude to her family unintentionally the whole time I was there.  I struggle a lot with social etiquette in ways most people take for granted.  Here are some examples what I struggle with:

For example,

This year has just been so bad.   I had my annual freakout where I started thinking about moving out, but settled for announcing that I just couldn't do it all and that I was overwhelmed and it wasn't fair.   So ADHD husband did pick up some slack, but I still had to re-clean before guests came over, and now to protests from the family while I did it (yes, you did vacuum, but you didn't make sure the vacuum picked everything up and the floor is covered with popcorn).   But then he didn't get me a Christmas gift and on Christmas morning everyone opened ALL the gifts I purchased them and I ju

My husband is diagnosed but untreated.  I just feel like I'm lost.  I'm out of energy and burned out and don't know what to do to get over the anger, disappointment, and resentment.  

There seem to be lots of support groups for couples where one of the members has ADHD. Lots of advice given...I find very little on the situation of both partners having ADHD! I believe this situation poses special challenges, and would love to hear from others who are in the same boat as me. Additionally, ADHD often exists in tandem with other issues (C-PTSD, high functioning Autism, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder...etc). The challenges are immense. I've managed to hang in there through 30+ years of marriage, but Covid killed my few social outlets.

I've been struggling with this question. I think like all of you, I had the hyperfocused courtship which was ripped away and replaced with a desire to chase shiny things and find more and more discontent in the shiny thing he once was so excited about.

Im tired. I actually don't nag. I do walk on eggshells. And I've suffered tremendous pain, both from actions and words. I'm not good enough for him. Or not enough to take a close look at his own behavior. 

Scanning over the lists of post titles as I have fairly often the past nine years or so...The prevalent common theme is just desperate people seeking answers that might lighten the burden they find them selves under because of failed communication attempts, and of course our view of why "spousal behaviors".